Truly Unforgettable!!!

A day at TED talks..

2011-11-20T19:48:00.001+05:30

Its been long time since I typed a blog post.. I just came to my roomafter attending a TED talks session.. I have become a big fan of 2 TEDs now.. One is TED talks and other the lead character in 'How I met your mother'..

For now, my post is on the talks.. Over the internet heard some good speeches on nurturing creativity, love, passion etc.. They were too good.. And I was wondering if I would be able to hear those talks live.. Once I came to know that a session was to be held in Chennai, I readily accepted.. It was from TEDx youth..

First timer for me here.. 5 talks were classy..

One of the talks was from an IIT grad who turned a farmer.. He clearlyexplained the crisis of Indian agri scenario.. China produces 600 tonnes of a grain while we produceonly 230 tonnes.. The root problem is in soil testing labs.. There is no govt approved ones andthat he sent different samples under different names only to get the same report for all thesoil samples!! The speaker went as far as Nebraska to evaluate his soil and get the rightresults.. We all laughed once we heard that.. But it is a very hard hitting truth.. Our country stilllacks many basic needs.. We dunno what we people do to change all that? All of us want to becomemillionaires and get the best food.. But who will produce all the grains if everyone shuns away..the speaker stressed that there is a lot of money involved too.. But that no one sees it.. On a funnynote he said 'agri would be the only field where u might get most subsidies.. y worry!!!'.. Ha haha.. After the talk got over, one of my frnds asked 'Sir what is the biggestchallenge u faced in this farming business?' 'Everything is a huge challenge with our crookedsystem. The broccoli you are growing to grow doesn't know if its growing in Chennai or ooty'. Once again laughs..

The next good talk was from 2 high school students from Riverside, Ahmedabad.. I dunno what I wasdoing in high school other than talk about cartoons, play cricket, and hit the books.. If I score less than 1130 I might not get good college to study.. But these kids were a revelation.. Tosay that their school curriculum was bizzare would be an abomination.. I wont say so.. It wasinnovative and path breaking.. They teach thro dance, sports, plays etc.. Its not bookishat all.. Those guys talk things which I think after 24 yrs.. 'To do what you like to do and itsimportant to follow it'.. And most important of all they are doing it at a veryyoung age!! They received a standing ovation..

The next standing ovation went to Chetan Korada.. A budding championkart racer getting into the bigleague.. Kart racing is his passion and the guy had to take care of hisbusiness too in order to feed him.. Well what is out of place here? Aren't thereguys, though few, like that?? Except that he dint have legs since birth.. He has prosthetic legs and drives the usual car which all others use.. No specialprovisions.. He was asked by many people 'Well you could have tried yourhand at chess or carrom or even TT where there is less movement.. Why troublewith racing..' His simple answer 'It's my passion and my absence of legs can'tbe a reason for my not following'.. Generally racing people have huge financialsupport from family.. The dads take care of the finances while the son justfocuses on his driving.. Chetan couldn't afford it.. He had to finish his educationbefore entering into racing and also look after business.. After the talk hetold 'I always push my boundaries.. I hope you are doing it too'

I was clueless..

Oh traveller.. Where to from here??

2011-09-30T10:34:00.008+05:30

After coming to DoMS, I came to know that there is a term in marketing called 'Positioning'..

Positioning is the image which you want to form in the mind of the customer.. What should the customer think of your product??

I can get you some examples.

Both CCD(Cafe coffee day) and Barista are premium coffee shops.. Both do well and in a varied sense.. CCD is often considered a hangout place with friends.. The shops are near college campuses and other youth spots.. They target the younger audience, preferably.. The ambience there is vibrant, colorful, loud music et al.. But in the case of Barista, it is targeted towards the business people.. The music is subtle, the colors are professional.. May be you can close a business deal there..

This is called positioning..

Now what is the relevance of that to me?? What is the need to define positioning??

I guess it has a lot to do with my 1st quarter here at DoMS.. What I have done in the last 2 months is pure fun.. unadulterated fun.. But fun does come at a cost.. Ain't it?

I was clueless as to what was happening in the class.. Even if I sit in the class I don't understand anything other than marketing and systems thinking classes, as those are the only classes where the previous ones don't make much of a difference.. I invariably sleep.. I feel that the classes are strategically positioned to sleep.. I have been used to waking up at 10am in the morning and start some active work by 11.30.. Here the classes start as early as 8.. Next class at 10.. These 2 classes I end up sleeping.. Then after lunch, the food makes me sleep in the AC classes.. By 3 when I m wide awake the classes get over for the day!!

I din't worry much about classes too.. Marks have never been important to me.. But the thing which worries me is I don't think I have understood the concepts involved too.. Another thing is I din't take a conscious step to learn outside.. I ended up seeing 2 seasons or 44 episodes or 968

minutes of footage time of 'How i met your mother' in 7 days.. I have seen much bigger numbers in shorter time.. But that these 7 days come at the most important week of my first quarter is what makes me think..

The most possible reason is that I din't love the subjects and was sitting there just for the heck of it.. The most possible reason I saw the sitcoms was I loved it though I dint think I would.. So things are going like this.. Had this small realization when I was staring at the exam papers with a blank face.. I even thought if I had been more blank during my under-grad..

Now comes another concept in marketing called 'Repositioning'.. Altering your stand or taking a new stand..

Here again a good example..

When Nestle launched Milkmaid a few decades back, it was marketed as a condensed milk.. If you don't get your usual milk packets or if you want a change from the usual, you can try that.. Its basically asking the traditional homegrown customer to quit the fresh milk to go for milkmaid.. It was not well received in the market.. The product bombed.. Nestle went back to the drawing board.. Found out its mistake.. Din't want to quit that product by giving a lame excuse.. Instead changed the product to an artificial sweetener.. When you prepare sweets, you can use milkmaid instead of sugar or jagri; They promised the taste would be much better.. It was and the rest is history..

My prof said: Theory without practice is useless. Practice without theory is blind..

Well, I don't want to be blind.. I need some re-positioning for Q2!!

Un mois á DoMS

2011-08-30T21:00:00.005+05:30

'It is very important that you plan.. You know for sure that goddamn plan will never work but it is essential to plan.. Only then you will know where you wanted to be and where you are now.. You can use that as a reference point'..

We all laughed hearing that on our induction day.. On hindsight I realize that I have not done anything by plan.. But what has panned out so far has been refreshingly different..

Barely a month has gone and I already am a part of the interim place-com or placement committee team for my batch.. I m also a part of the designing team for my department’s bfest.. My team and me have churned out many posters, logos, tshirt designs and an animation so far.. Waiting to see them all in the big screen.. Meaning in their physical form.. Waiting for those days when my department would be wearing custom designed tshirts which has big inputs from my side..

Asset of any institution is its students and my class is a bird's nest of 52 people.. And the nest has some good chicks too.. It’s a rich and diverse set.. I won’t be wrong if I say I have ppl from all states in India.. I have gotten used to Hindi except that I dunno what they talk!! You certainly have no choice but to smile at yourself when the whole class laughs for some comment.. I dunno how to scoop in to learn Hindi when I want to learn tennis, read books, do meditation, watch hella lot of movies, read economic times daily, play badminton n cricket, meet new people and also read academic subjects!!!

Coming to movies first.. I m a person who would not hesitate to watch 6-8 movies over a weekend..Downloading/getting movies was a big deal.. Watching wasn’t.. Downloading a film takes anywhere between 2-7 hrs.. But here I can download a 2gb film in 5-7min.. And here watching a film has become a big deal.. What all movies I had planned to watch are all available in dvdrips, hdrips, bluray rips... Thanks to the IIT hubs, I m already ripped!!! Everything useful to life and everything not-useful to life are present.. It’s where you would learn to get your priorities right!!

I being a residential student here, its first of a kind for me to stay in hostels, eat mess food et al.. It’s going cool.. I can bear the occasional power cuts, occasional water shortage, occasional internet breakdown but certainly not the perennial mess problem.. Food is horrible here.. N I have never eaten/will eat so much bread, butter and jam in my life.. Bread is part of daily breakfast regimen and at any day they are preferable to the dosa/bonda or whatever they give..

Time literally flies.. I have been to my house for 2 days maximum.. I wont say I don’t get time to go.. But I prefer to stay in hostel.. I just imagine myself to be in Delhi(the place where I would have gone to had I not got into IIT).. It wouldn’t have been possible to go isn’t it?? When I joined college I was termed ' a little fat with a big belly'.. After 2weeks when my parents saw me they said 'oh gosh u look so thin n you look good now!!'.. I dint go too much into those comments when one of my friends here said 'Leave it Sada.. We all look thin in the eyes of our parents..'

Coming to classes.. I wish I could update something here.. But I dunno what to!! The only thing I do is to sleep in most classes.. I get the most peaceful sleeps there.. Have to do something to break it.. Reading a day before a test, helps clear the test but doesn’t add any knowledge..

Waiting to add more!!

Confessions of a tired traveller

2011-07-31T11:53:00.008+05:30

Its been 2 weeks since I made my first solo-backer trip to the Kumaon region and its high time I write about my experiences there because I have got lots to share from my post graduate life.. And its only reasonable to finish my tour experience before moving to others..

So here goes..
1. Language ain't so important. Mix with the locals.
When you go to a land of unknown where everything is new to you, you tend to see a side which no one sees easily unless compelled to. I was little unfamiliar to the language and had a tough time conveying what I wanted to tell them and they to me. Never did I feel I was frustrated or let alone because of the language. Language is something made for our convenience. And its not the only prerequisite for being convenient. I used sign languages and invented my own and was happy that it was reciprocated. Once when I tried my best to ask 'Does this place have schools for children since they are very remote', I got a reply like Rajni says 'Yes Yes. Beautiful place. It's very cool'.. I just smiled.
I travelled in bike, car, jeeps, local buses etc. I got a slice of their life. During my trip to Sri Lanka, I travelled in high tech buses, stayed in star hotels and ate cozy food. I dint like that. It was fully sugar coated hiding the true identity of the place. This tour was not so.

2. Enjoy landslides as long as you are safe
I saw quite a few landslides during my travel. And what more I was just seconds away when a huge landslide flooded the road. It took another hour until the JCBs came and cleared the road. So its very important that you have skilled driver who has complete knowledge about the areas. And most importantly he should be bold enough.

3. Never trust technology.
Cant forget the time when I was locked up in Gangolihat, just 4 hrs from Nepal. It was my first day in trip and I had just paid 250 for jeep, 300 for cave visit, 150 for room and 100 for other expenses. My purse had just 100 left in it when it started pouring down. There was no let off for over an hour. After which I made my way for the SBI atm center only to see a message 'sorry this atm is out of service'. Fine. Lets hunt for another atm. After a lot of explaining to the locals, I got to know that this was the only atm for this whole place and that the next nearest atm was 6hrs away. I was disillusioned. A response by a local 'Technology always problem sir' made me think.

4. Spending time with yourself brings out a new perspective.
After getting to know that it would take another 15hrs for the bank to be opened and atm to be serviced, I went straight to the room only to find that there was no current. After opening the windows for some breath of fresh air, I reflected upon myself. I started to think which things of mine can be pawned in case the problem persisted.. Can I pawn my fast track watch?? How much will this sell for?? Can I pawn my shoes?? It's a branded one but will they recognize it?? I mean how much will a mountain living person pay for a watch when he doesn't use one for seeing time, how will be buy shoes which are fancy enough but would never suit hilly areas?? That is when I realised that some things can only come thus far. I, as a person, am above all that and that I m safe. That outweighs everything else. I was happy then. I dint worry about atm. I dint think about landslides. I dint think of how i would escape from this place. I dint think when the banks would open. I just smiled. Okay, let me survive with 100hrs for the next 15-18 hrs. Not a bad deal considering that it was a sunday. And monday would come very soon. Situation would have been bad had I come on saturday!! I silently thanked the Gods and went outside to shop.
P.S The atm functioned half hour later, I took about substantial amount of cash and heaved a sigh of relief.

5. Things go at their own pace
In Chennai, to navigate to places was one of the easiest things for me. I press a button to kick start my bike 'La Poderosa' and vroom past the roads. Else I can board a local train or bus to go places. Wow.. How easy life be.. Contrast it with places in UP. There is no government support. No buses what so ever.. People rely hugely on shared jeeps and I can tell you that they are the most reasonable guys I have come across. Imagine a back drop like land slides, heavy rains, muddy and poor roads, high altitude etc. I paid Rs10 for a 18km drive on such roads. Drivers elsewhere would rob me. They understand the responsibility and go about very well. They are the lifeline of UP. Ever since clearing my MBA exams, I have learnt to wait. This is something that was unlike me before. The trip to kumaon enhanced that. Some things don't happen as I wish it to be. They will happen at their own pace and I need to hop on to it. I had to wait a good 30-40minutes before I get a jeep to my place of travel. I cant jump-in before communicating with him. Plan as and when things happen. Travel a 50km drive for 3hrs and then walk to the place which I wanted to see. It was all fun.

6. Some things are beyond your control. Let it be so. Let things take care of itself.
Some things are better left to itself.. I cant keep fuming if no jeep is in the vicinity. I will miss the beauty of the place. Just wait. Let yourself settle down. Be convinced that you are in no hurry to finish places. For once let nature be your driving force. Once you do that, you are relaxed. You enjoy the beauty around you and begin to wonder if things can be more beautiful than this?? You will come to realise that such is the case with life too. What I did to adjust to the timings?? Even though my eyes begged me to sleep & my feet implored me to sit down, I woke up early and balanced it.

Another big thing is my train journey back to Chennai. I boarded the Rajdhani and it was 28hr long journey to Chennai. Only that my train reached 22hrs late. Made my journey time to 50hrs. Thanks to the Telangana strike. Once they announced the train was 3 hrs late, people were talking 'How can be a Rajdhani be late???'.. Once they said 9 hrs late, they were angry. Once they said 12hrs late, they were fuming. Once they said 15hrs late, they calmed out and understood nothing can be done. Once they said 18hrs late, they were happy to reach their destination alive. After reaching 22hrs late, they were humbled. I boarded the train with huge leg pain and aching knees. 50 hrs in Rajdhani made me fresher and I set foot in Chennai full of life.

7. Speak with foreigners who tour the place
I spoke with quite a number of foreigners in Rishikesh. I was fascinated by their responses. One french woman said 'I have been touring India for the past 4 months and I can tell you this is one of the best places on Earth. I just love the food here. Its cheap and good unlike France which is pretty costly'. A group of Germans who are touring the world for the past 15yrs had come to India for the next leg. One said 'Normally we stay for 6-8months in the country, explore everything and move'. But here, I need 1 year for the Ladakh-Leh region itself. This is the only place on earth where you will be get frost bite and sun burns at the same time. Also the only place in the earth where we can see 5 different terrains over a 1km stretch. I would say that exploring the Himalayas from its start in Jammu to Arunachal Pradesh itself would take many years. Don't know how much will it take to tour the whole country. You are all very lucky people'. My face was full of smiles. Also a contemplation that many don't know what we have with us.

It was a breath taking experience for me and I m left wanting for more!!

Forrest says 'I gotta pee!!!'

2011-06-25T11:41:00.007+05:30

If anyone asks me what is the best film I have seen so far, I wouldn't even blink before saying 'Forrest Gump'..

A very simple story told in the most enchanting of ways.. After i saw the film, I thought what made me wait 14 yrs before watching this master piece.. But I was happy that I had seen such a gem of a film atleast then..

One casual day, a few years after watching the film, I stumbled up on a DVD which had the tagline 'Best books made to films'.. I saw Forrest there and since then I had been eager to read that book, written by Winston Groom, and draw parallels with the film, directed by Robert Zemeckis..

But that was not to happen until my kindle came.. May be the book was destined to be read in my kindle as its first book.. It was indeed an honor for my kindle n me!!

Now coming to the parallels.. The Forrest I saw on screen and the Forrest I read about are different.. Groom's Gump and Robert's Gump are vastly different.. Never knew the original Forrest would weigh 242 pounds(104 kgs) and is more than 6feet high.. Tom Hanks looked like he will be blown away by the slightest of winds!! If his love Jenny Curran was coming in very few scenes in the film, here she occupies a meaty part of it.. Infact she wants to be with him life long, and Gump does something silly.. Also the impact of the mother was very less in the book.. Instead the role of Sue, an Orangutan, comes along in the second half and is Gump's best friend along with Bubba, Dan and Jenny..

As I kept on reading the book I understood that the director just took 20% of the incidents which Gump experienced and told it in his own style.. So I became eager to know the rest 80% and boy, it was a complete roller coaster.. It made me smile, laugh my heart out, made me think and brought tears at last!! The same feelings I experienced in the film too!!

When I saw the film I came to know that Gump was a high school playback, Army Private, Ping pong player, Shrimp business man, a runner.. and what more all-in-one!! I was full of surprise.. But when I read the book, gosh!! It was only the tip of the iceberg..

In the book.. Gump's career moves as follows:
American Football player- Math genius- Private- Ping pong player- Astronaut- Farmer- Harmonica player- Chain pot taker- Wrestler- Chess player- Hollywood actor- Business man- Traveller..

Gosh!! I m tired.. He does so much and you don't get questions in your mind like how!! You just enjoy what is presented to you.. Everytime Forrest says 'I gotta pee', you can fasten your seat belts.. The next adventure is just a few pages after..

Also full credits to Robert.. This film is what I call 'Truly inspired'.. You would get the essence of it once you finish both.. The director doesn't blindly copies what is there.. That is something many people have to learn..

At the end of the day, I love both the book and the film.. I would highly recommend both..

A question of what, when & how?

2011-05-31T01:42:00.009+05:30

I was watching the 2010 version of 'The Karate Kid' on TV. And I hear Jackie Chan say 'Being still and doing nothing are two different things'. Well. That did make me think. What was the difference between the two, even if any.

Why not search for an answer with my own life?
But all I got was a blind alley until I started looking deeper.

Retrace a few anxious weeks before my results were out. I had a great determination to do many things in life other than studies and exam.

For a change,

I wanted to drive slow in chennai at morn 4. Just to have a better feel of the atmosphere. Chennai is cool to drive at nite sans the traffic.
I wanted to design cards and give to many of my friends for whom I have not given even one.
I wanted to pursue a project in design which would require me to learn more software and integrate them to get a dream one.
I wanted to allocate 1 hr or 50 pgs per day to read books. By this way, I can spend minimum of 365 hrs or 18250 pgs per year on books. I would gladly say that's a handsome number.
I wanted to watch hella lot of films which would envy even the craziest of maniacs.
I wanted to write many blogs on myriad topics.
I wanted to learn some tricks in MS excel which would come in handy from here on.
I wanted to spend atleast 15 min in meditation everyday.
I wanted to finish all 94 episodes of Mahabharat.
I wanted to read a few basics before I go back to school. I m feeling rusty.
Last but not the least, I wanted to explore more about the great country of India and her diversities.

All these activities cannot be done 365*24*7. But I can very well choose a combination of things, keeping a few things constant. But all I can say is I have not moved an ounce. Its not that I don't want to.

May be self satisfaction and a sense of achievement has engulfed my mind. I m not moving. In Jackie's terms, I was not being still. I was all over the place albeit doing nothing.

I got this answer atleast!! A breather.

I read a good line somewhere.. Out of activity comes inactivity. Out of inactivity comes activity. That did make me contemplate.

I had been totally occupied for 3 yrs sans a break. And all round I had been thinkin the same but with different mindsets and terminologies. I went to sleep with an alarm in my mind. An alarm which would wake me up automatically 9 times out of 10. I was self-motivated. Self-inspired. [I never knew the meaning of these words till then] Everythin came from within. No external force was required.

But then once my admission was confirmed and once I was sure I would be taking up a college this year, I was happy. I was content. I understood efforts wont go for waste. Well, I dint dance in the streets, dint get wet in the rain, dint go behind a gal, dint proclaim to the world I have climbed my own little mountain. But a different and deeper outcome was effected. A wide gap was created. A gap which I had filled with studies/books/exams/tensions/sleepless nights/urge had been cleared off. Now the gap requires a new filling. A gap which I knew would come but for which I thought I had a solution.

Once my dentist said 'Sada, brush twice a day. You don't have to visit me again in your life'. When brushing itself seems a far cry, no wonder I did nothin yet with my tasks.

I guess I m like a kid eagerly waiting at the doors to hold his next new toy in his fingers.

And then came IIT Madras..

2011-04-27T15:56:00.010+05:30

It was a very hot saturday afternoon.. And near DOMS, IIT Madras, I could see many people with tie and blazers waiting for the interview.. I couldn’t help to suppress a smile.. why to aggravate the humidity by wearing blazers in Chennai heat!!! If the interviewers ask why no tie/blazer, you can always say that the humidity was high and that you wanted to feel comfortable.. There I was wearing my favorite full-hand shirt with no tie..

IIT Madras may not be the best place to study MBA.. But I had done my research on the college and all I got was positive reviews.. They don’t cook up numbers to show their average, they don’t advertise themselves, they got excellent faculty n placements etc.. Overall I was very convinced..

As I made my way into the department, I was a little tensed.. I was just hoping they don’t ask me anything technical.. Thanks to IIT Kharagpur, which was a full technical interview..

Imagine me sitting in the room and the interviewers ask me ‘Sada, can you tell me the lifecycle of a technology?’

I was wondering ‘I don’t know my life cycle itself.. in this how do I no that of a technology’

If that was not enough, they asked me ‘Do you no Eric Fischer’??

‘Sorry sir. No idea. Well who is that?’

'He is the world’s most famous statistician.'

Good.

I was just hoping they don’t ask anything like that and botch my interview..

Madras now.. Was totally surprised by the ambience there.. In a giant screen, the World cup match between Aus and Pak was going on.. That really helped to cool the nerves..

Then followed a video about IIT Madras.. a few profs came n spoke.. I was particularly interested in one.. he was operations professor and he said ‘If u want to be a ruthless manager, don’t come here. But if you want to be a manager with a heart, then this is the place to be’.. well, that was a wowie..

I was taken straight to the interview before the GD..

Asked a few people how it turned out?

All said in unison ‘the interviews don’t last more than 10 minutes.. no technical questions.. just general ones’

I was the next in.. And I was surprised to see the same Operations(O) prof inside along with another Finance(F) lady prof.

The pleasantries were exchanged.

O : So you are Sadasivam Ramasamy. Well what is your name then? Is it Sadasivam or Ramasamy?

Me: Sir, my name is Sadasivam. I m a chettiar and in my caste, we are named after our grandfather.

O : Oh chettiars.. I had been to pudhupatti, valayappatti etc.

Me: (cautious now. Have to be shallow. If he asks anything deep I dunno abt my place) Sir that is my birthplace!!

O : Oh ok.. Good. I was there long back. In the 70s.. Ok lets come to the interview. So you are from TCS. Oh come on.. we are totally bored interviewing people from IT back ground

F : Yes!! Infy, TCS, Wipro, HCL.. they keep coming and we are running out of questions!! We dunno wat to ask you guys.

(Oh man.. have to differentiate from the crowd.. )

Me: (Smiles) Sir that is because IT recruits many people and since they are the majority crowd, here too it’s the same.

O : Ok Sada. Tell me 3 chemical companies.

(What?? Chemical!! IITs and studies!!)

Me: (thinks) Sir Balmer Laurie, Bayer..

O: what only 2? You are from chemical engg and you cant say 3 companies?

Me: Sir I m from biotech.

O: Oh sorry biotech.. Ok tell me 3 biotech companies.

Me: Biocon, Nicholas Piramal, Spinco biotech.

O: Ok what type of job will u get there., I don’t want research.

Me: (blinks) Sir I don’t have a personal idea about it. But many of my friends are abroad and they are part of research team. Only thro them I know about it..

(from here on all blabbering starts.. I was cursing my luck.. Well 7 minutes was over long back and I was looking for a gap to put my ideas.. And then it came atlast)

Some laughs came in.. I asked the lady prof - ‘Mam.. You have been silent for a long time.. Why dint u ask any questions yet.. Please ask..’

Again laughs..

F : Ok Sada.. Where can I see you in 10 yrs down the lane after you finish your MBA?

Me: ( Wow!! The red carpet has been drawn.. Let’s start the interview now) Well mam, you can see me as the founder of Beeline.

O & F – What Beeline?? What's that??

From then on it was my game. I told what all ideas I had in mind, what I am doing right now, how it will help me and others.. Everything possible was detailed.

F : That is good. So how would MBA would help me in that.?

Me: Mam.. When a company comes to recruit a CEO, they don’t look for a person who is good at only finance or only marketing. They want a person who has a holistic view of everything. If you change one parameter another will also change.. Like this the whole system.. I want to study that.. an experienced technical person can miss that.. But not a manager.. I want to be one like that..

O : That’s good.

F: So you want to be an entrepreneur and not manager?

Me: (knew this would come) Mam.. An entrepreneur runs a business while a manager manages a business.. I want to manage the business..

F : Good.. So you will join here mainly because someone will finance your ideas??

All laughs

Me: Ha ha.. that is one part too.. I don’t say no to that.. There are venture capitalists for that.. They want people with ideas.. I can be one.. (some more gyaan here)

All laughs too..They looked convinced..

O: Ok Sada.. that was nice meeting you.. what other calls do you have?

Me: IIT KGP and Madras.

O: Ok what will u join if you get both?? Don’t say Madras.. I can assure you that your candidacy will not be affected by your response. I just want to know your decision making skills.

Me: Sir for me both are same.. I don’t see any differences.

O: No. You gotta pick one

Me: Sir for me both are same. I will ask my parents.. If they are willing to send me to Kharagpur, I will go.. else no problem.. I will take Madras.

O: What!! You won’t take decision but let your parents take??

(Oh gosh.. I m losing it.. Time to tighten screws..)

Me: Sir.. Both colleges have the audit courses and I don’t see any difference here.. But I can tell you what tilts the balance in favor of Madras.. Some more gyaan (I told what all I researched about them. ) And also on the lighter side, my sister’s marriage is there too.. So it would be helpful to stay here.

They were fully convinced.

O: It was great meeting you Sada. Tell your parents not to send you to Kharagpur.

Me: (Wondering about his last statement) Thank you sir.

The GD went like a breeze.. I was very happy with the hospitality. Ambience. Faculty. Everything.

Still I could not decipher ‘Did they say that I converted.’

Came out of the room and a student who had accompanied me to the room asked me 'What took you so long?? You have been in there for 20 min now..'

Me: Well it was not an interview.. We were happily interacting!!

And now the results are out.. I m in..

Looks like I converted the call on 19^th march itself.. Relieved!!!

Expect the 'unexpected'

2011-04-26T20:16:00.007+05:30

A couple of weeks back my dad asked me 'I m going to meet the astrologer. Do you want to ask anything to him?'

My interviews got over and I was awaiting results when he asked me this. Well I would asked him but then many people told that I would join MBA last season itself. Yet that dint happen. So why ask again when I will know the truth by myself in a few days. I refrained myself from asking and stayed away from the delusions. Anyways, my dad knew what I wanted and asked him about me.

He said 'Your son will get admit from an unexpected college at an unexpected time'..

Ever since he told me that I had been contemplating on those lines.

Unexpected time?? Oh my god, then my name will be in wait list is it? dunno when it will get confimed then... bad..

Unexpected college? Oh shit.. so I had a bad interview in XYZ college. ABC went great.. so ABC will flop and I will get XYZ???

I was going bonkers. I also understood that I was getting into a paradox. I know my bad interview wont get me XYZ.. So ABC is in my minds.. But if I expect ABC to come how can I say that as unexpected.?? So now I expect XYZ to convert but still if I expect how can it be unexpected.

This was precisely the reason why I chose to refrain myself.

Out of my calls, one college was totally off my list. They conducted essay writing, GD and interview.

The interview was on the day of Indo-Pak semifinal in WC 2011. I was at IIM Bangalore pondering over my essay.

Topic: Women's reservation

One word came to my mind : Shit.
Only thing I knew is that some people were fighting for 33% reservation for women. When I m already a victim of backward class reservation, the last thing I want in this world is another f***ing reservation. But wait where will they implement? In what stage it is? Has it been passed? I dont know anything in detail. Jus bits n pieces. I took a different stand and went about it on surface. Like drawing a circle and running on its perimeter itself n never bothering to get into the area. (Later came to knew that it's the hallmark of a true manager)

Next came Group discussion.

Topic: Paperless office - myth or reality.

12 ppl. 2 (along with yours truly) - Myth. 10 - reality. All I can say is it was crap. Over in 7 min. After sometime nobody knew what to talk.

Next came interview.

They asked me many questions. I answered somethin and it was all over in 7 min. They even said 'Sada can you tell us more about yourself so that we could guage you better'. I dont remember much what happened inside as I had already dropped the college.

Went to coffee day. Had a brownie. Then went to barista and had a pizza and washed it down with a smooothie and headed home.

Results were not expected until 20th april 2011.

I was all set to watch a few movies on the night of 17th April when my phone rang. It was my office-cum-cat mate.

He - Hi da.. how you doin?

Me - Fine da.. Enna machi wat u expect with results?

He - Dunno man. Madras is my hope. IIT KGP had called me too.. they conducting more interviews for some seats.

Me - Oh why? Wait let me check Pagalguy.
(site opens)

Me - Machi XLRI results out da.. I missed XAT horribly. Machi dai IMI has come too.. had my worst interview there..

He - Chuma check the list da.

(PDF opens. I key in my name and adobe search goes. Stop. Name flashes)

Me - What the fuck!!! Machi I guess someone by the same name there.

He - Loose.. Check the CAT number

Me - Machi!! Mine da..

So now it stands as IMI converted.

I feel relaxed now and took time off to think on how could they have selected me. My name shouldnt be there in the first place.

Hmmm.. May be because

I was a typical manager there. Even when I dint know wat to do, I kept an air around me that I knew.

I spoke when I wanted to.

I kept smiling all around. (Well it's no big deal for me. In 2008, I was in my first interview and they told me 'Sada, you dont even know 3 business newspapers. Why should we select you')

Now now now.. When u see insults of such high range, other things seem very small to u.. Thanks to Einstein and his theory of relativity.. Thats wat drives people..

After the dust got settled, I did realize that I got an unexpected college at an unxpected time.

Astrology won it this time. I was out of words.

The hand that rocked the cradle

2011-03-31T16:48:00.006+05:30

Its been 3 weeks since I ventured into active equity market.. The journey has been a roller coaster ride strewn with optimism, enthusiasm, energy, intellectuality, deft, poise and what not.. Nothing short of a thriller.. For the past 20 days, the end of the ride has brought a smile.. Invariably..

Until today..

So who rocked the cradle hard enough to demand attention.. Its me.. And me alone..

I dint think very high of myself but thought that I had morphed into a person who can control emotions and can refrain from impulsive decisions.. To an extent I was right too.. The past few months have been commendable and it reflected in equities too.. I was running on a handsome profit in midterm investments and tried my hand today at intra-day..

Intra-day is where you buy and sell shares all in a single day.. You dont carry it over to the next day.. It was my first venture today..

My plan was to invest in Tata coffee which had been doing well.. But it was a very bullish one too.. It will take you for a ride without your consent.. I wanted to buy it first thing today and sell soon.. But it started way beyond what I planned.. So I skipped.. A good move.. It dropped after some time.. Seemed a very good move.. Great going..

I could have quit the day since I dint study any other company.. But did the demon inside me quit? No..

Just yesterday, I saw titan increase 200 a day.. It started well today. So what I do? I buy 25 shares at 9.30am.. In just 15min, it increased Rs.50.. WOWWW!!! I stand to make Rs.1200 profit.. Well I could have quit that time with a big glee on my face.. But did the temptation inside me let me think so? No..

On the other hand, even without selling the shares right away, I could have put a minimum sell value and left.. By this way, I could have played the mother bird which collects food in small quantities, stocks and then looks for more. But today did I play the mother bird to secure the windfall? No..

I went for a bath and came back to see that price was down close to my buy.. I played the wait and watch game.. Even when it was decreasing, I kept watching and had a blind hope that the price would increase.. It being a bullish share was another nightmare.. Then had a thought.. 'Okay even if it falls more no issues.. we can keep it and sell later'(In which case tax will be high).. It kept on going to lower limits.. Beyond danger limits..

At one stage, it dropped to Rs 100 below my rate.. And I did what I should have never done.. I panicked.. And sold the shares to avoid further loss.. And what happened after I sold it??.. The price started increasing.. And ended the day at Rs 80 less than what I bought..

I was crestfallen.. Dejected.. Disappointed.. On a day, when I should have been happy for earning Rs 1200, I was here ruing my loss double that of what I should have potentially earned..

I failed in my test of temperament.. It's an affordable loss for me.. A big lesson learnt.. Here again, the lesson is complete only when I clear my next test.. The tests are never gonna stop..

So back to basics again.. And on a personal note, I have heard many people say 'Don't venture into equities.. Stay away.. Only people who lost are more'.. All are correct.. But did anyone ask why?? I would say that it's a test of your character.. Nothing else..

1. Don't panic
2. Learn to control your emotions
3. Take risks but keep your loss under check
4. Don't show your heroism at work
5. Trust your instincts
6. Never never never ever be greedy

These sound so simple in words and makes you think its a no-gamer.. But that time it dint..

On a happy note, the loss today is tangible.. That tangibility is acceptable to me.. May be if I had not panicked I would have reduced my loss by Rs 500-700 max.. Its ONLY money at play.. Many a time, the loss is not money but something else worthy.. It has made me look at myself again.. I m very happy on that regard..

I had a reality check today.. How about you?

My Great Lakes interview

2011-02-23T14:10:00.011+05:30

Great lakes.. I was wondering if I should apply for this college. I was apprehensive to apply coz its a college exclusively for work-ex ppl. That too above 2 yrs exp. Then my thoughts got the better of me and I applied to it. Thanks to my IMS center manager. He was an alumnus of that college and he promised me to help me with the essays required for this college.

Believe me the essays were huge. 5 topics.
1. What are you short term and long term goals. How will great lakes help you in it.
2. Is there a fine dividing line between personal ethics and professional ethics? If there isn’t, then does the latter seamlessly evolve from the former?
3. Evaluate yourself as a person, discussing in order of importance, the personal characteristics you feel are your weaknesses
4. You are 50 years old and writing your autobiography of 400 pages. How will the 360th page read?
5. If only the MBA Admissions Board had asked me ‘That’? What is that?

I was huffing and puffing by the end of it. Anyways it was a good introspective experience.

I was allotted a slot on 19 Feb 2011 for my group discussion and personal interview @ New Woodlands hotel.

I was on the dot and the topic for my team of 6 was 'Is social networking boon or bane'. I spoke well but my team stressed on only one line of thought. 'How does social networking affect the company's performance’? I was wondering 'what the heck'. It is shaping revolutions and cleaning govts. Why see only from the perspective of a company?!!!

Then came the interview. I was called in at 11.32 inside.

Two panelists (1 and 2) and me (m).

After the pleasantries they started the grilling.

1: So tell me Sadasivam. How does the BPO work affect a person's personality?
M: Sir, I would say people don’t see BPO in good light. It is a respectable job and promises good growth. In my company, I have seen many people join after their stint in BPO sector. I can easily say they have better skills sets.

2: In what sense?
M: They are good conversationalists. They can convince their clients easily and are more flexible. They have a good idea about the software and are up-to-date with it. I would say I too had the wrong opinion about BPO and have changed it since I joined TCS.

1: Good. Tell me, is western school of thought opposed to Indian school of thought? And why?
M: Yes sir. Western school of thought is at loggerheads. They are materialistic. They are result oriented.

1: See as a manager I want only result oriented people. Not people who are detached from their work and don’t care if they achieve the target or not.
M: (Smiles) Detachment is a big term sir. I would say ppl should be detached. What if I had a bad day at office and I show the same at home. That’s not good.

Chat moved on about Bhagawad gita and other philosophies and I later found that I had spoken wrongly. They were gracious enough to correct me and I had a change of perspective.

M: Gita says don’t expect results. Do it to your heart's content but don’t expect result. If you are a kshatriya, it’s your duty to fight and make sure dharma prevails.
1: Let me explain you. When Krishna is in battlefield with Arjuna, he doesn’t say just fight. He says 'fight to win this righteous war so that dharma shall prevail'. He says fight to win. Now that is your goal. Your goal may bring you some rewards. Don’t expect that.
M: I got it sir. Thanks for correcting me.

2: I see that you are a Tamil poet.
M: Sir, poet is a very broad term. I like to write poetry.

2: Tell us some of yours.
I did. And they were impressed.

2: So what do your girl friends say about this?
M: I don’t have one yet.
(smiles)

1: Girl friends means friends who are girls.
M: In that sense, I have lot of them. They all make fun of it sir. They say it’s immature. It’s my way of expression sir. I like to write so do I.
2: Good. That’s how it should be.

1: So you like advertisements. hmmm. Don’t you think it’s full of lies? And the people who act in it are unethical. A girl comes in Lux soap. I don’t know if she uses it herself. Why should I use it?
M: Sir it’s not lies. I would say twisted truth. If I say bluntly, ppl won’t accept it.

1 & 2: Thanks for telling the truth.
M: About actor being ethical. It’s their own take. Whenever I see Sachin on TV he is wearing Adidas T-shirt. So I want to buy it too. Now he can wear Nike or Puma at home. I don’t know that. So I can’t comment on his being ethical. Similar way for others too.

1: Fine. Why dint you take over your dad's business?
M: My dad and I wanted to diversify. Business will stay with us. I wanted to explore new avenues.

2: What is this ambient marketing? You have written about it.
M: gyaan.....

1: Sada, you seem to be a creative person, then why MBA?
M: Sir, I don’t want to be in the technical side of designing. I want to manage it. I want to play mentorship role and manage. This field promises a lot of scope in future, then why should I be in technical side and limit myself.

2: Ok we are done. Do want to ask us anything?
M: Yes sir. I saw the course curriculum and I saw that Marketing management and operations management alone have 4.5 credits, while others have 3 credits. All the fields are equally important right? Then why this inclination?
1: (answered)

M: Sir before I leave, can I show you some of my designing works?
1 and 2: sure

They were awed by it and asked if I did them all by myself.
A humble yes and I left the room.

So will I be a Spartan?

(Each batch has a name for them. Previous names were Patriots and Gladiators. For this batch it’s Spartans)

Verdict: Result awaited tomorrow

Falsities, Fantasies & Superstitions

2010-12-26T19:47:00.009+05:30

As I was nearing the last twilight of my 24th year, I was wondering whether I have had any attributes of mine changed..

I mean a welcome change.. A change which will usher in a new breeze..

Immediately I got an answer.. I stopped being superstitious..

Not long before I was overtly cautious.. Being superstitious is in very chetty’s blood.. It’s like their birth right.. I dunno how to rate myself among them.. But I have my own threshold limits and I knew very well that I did little to control it.. Like, If I go out of the house I would take extra care to make sure that I don’t cross a guy with a nammam or a 111 on his head.. If I come across one, I would go again, sit and then leave after a few minutes.. If I do anything important I would check dates n times to make sure I sound auspicious.. Not to mention breaking of coconuts on any occasion.. I never showed a restraint!! Infact, I was becoming a paragon of it!!

While applyin for exams I made sure I got forms only on auspicious days and chose the date of writing with pristine care and caution.. My policies only got severe as days went by but my results weren’t.. They became slender every day.. I would just follow these formalities but I won’t get a good feel after doing so.. If I m not comfortable, then why should I be doing it?? I understood that I m becoming a big victim of Murphy’s laws.. One of his laws state: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse..

The 2009 MBA season was more than a testimony to it.. As every day passed by, I saw all exams implode.. An uneasy feel, which I was very well accustomed to, enveloped me again..

I just stopped and thought 'WTF am I doing?.. How long can I let this continue?? It isn't doing me an ounce of good!!’.. Just as everything has a start, everything has an end to it.. Not just the exams alone, I mean everything.. On any occasion, I try to scoop it inside and decorate it as though putting choco-chips, butterscotch, dry grapes on a double scoop ice cream.. That ice cream, in reality, may be mouth watering but this experience was only exasperating.. I can’t help but accept the fact that I felt short of confidence.. It was like I m not responsible for what I m doing but others..

Even if we do anything with all the attention things can go wrong.. How about me then?? I felt I was badly exposing myself.. Nope.. This can’t continue..

Everything is destiny.. Why make all efforts to go against it..

I decided that it’s high time that I change immediately.. Results may not be apparent for now but for the long run this is the right way.. As though bringing in a new bride slowly into her groom's house, I made the changes slowly.. I have been following my new ideology for nearly a year now.. I would say the change is welcoming..

Nowadays when I see a 111 on the street, I just smile thinking about my idiosyncrasy and move on.. Things may bomb or shine but that depends on me not him :)

Familiarity breeds awareness

2010-11-26T23:58:00.010+05:30

It was somewhere near the month of July'2010 when my mock CAT tests for this season started.. Now, now, now when you have been writin a test series for 3 yrs, nothin new interests you unless you see a b-e-a-utiful chick on the block.. But on that day, apart from a chick, another one too impressed me.. You dont have to get ur imaginations run wild..

I was particularly intrigued by a readin comprehension that came for the test.. And it was based on psychology.. I had to admit that nowadays psychology interests me.. It kinda delves into the intricacies of the human mind and opens myriad possibilities for exploration..

Now, before we get into the specificity of the post, let me make you clear with a definition which will be of use here..

Hindsight Bias:
It refers to the tendency people have to view events as more predictable than they really are. An irrational belief that past outcomes were predictable.

In short: The I-knew-it-all-along phenomenon.

Hindsight bias can be put to good use but the thing is we dont believe our hindsight bias to be true until it happens.. So what is the use anyway? Is there any? That intrigued me..

I was talking with my friend sometime back..

Me: Machi I dunno what, but all exams had been easy last yr.. I dunno how I fucked it up.. Cant imagine I got 2/28 in quants in IIFT last yr.. Would you imagine the cut off for quants was 3?? Outrageous da.. Not tat the paper was so tough, it could have been done.. But I missed that moment..
He: That is usual da.. If I give u any paper of previous yrs, you will invariably do well.. Tats bcos of the familiarity quotient.. U had already seen the paper.. If I give you a new paper you will take time to get acclimatized..

Me: Hmmm.. Whatever..
He: Simple example.. You know your friend is in love.. You have a good time pass with him and you also get a thought like their relationship wont culminate in marriage.. And one fine sunny morning, your friend comes racing to ur house, bangs ur door n tells u 'Machi I broke up with her.. I dunno what I am going to do'.. At that time, before u empathize with your pal, you get that feel 'Wow man!! I knew that was coming'.. At that time you feel your prediction was stronger than it really was.. You did not have the courage to tell your friend but your innate feel had that..

Me: It sounds easy with relationships man.. But not wit exams..
He: Ha ha.. That is your side of the coin!!

Like this, you would have many such incidents.. Have you thought about that??

I can only conclude that hindsight bias is like drivin in the rain.. No matter how sharp your brakes are, you always run the risk of slipping and falling down.. All you can do is damage control.. May be Anti Braking System(ABS) can help :)

Aura[L] - A success note

2010-10-25T03:44:00.007+05:30

It was the first quarter of the 2010 fiscal.. And with CAT still a good 7 months away I decided I should go to T.Nagar for scribing.. Scribing means reading or writing for people.. I have been going there ever since I joined my job.. I would say it would be a good relief to help people, with tangible problems, other than watching the black dell monitors at office..

On sundays, at 1000 hrs the PSBB school in T.Nagar will jell with people.. People who dont have the power of vision come from as far as dindivanam and avadi.. The reason - To study.. How will they study if they cant see? That's where we, the scribes, come in..

The sunday started like any other.. and went on like any other.. add the endless sweat, the hot tea which comes at around 1130hrs, the resilience of the people who learn from you battling countless odds etc.. Their determination to get a job even at 40 yrs will make you surrender in front of them.. U cant help but feel for them.. and sometime later its turns as anger towards the colleges.. All portions which normal science grads study come for them. with no difference at all.. We, with all parts functioning, would ask for internet, AC, phone, leave etc to study.. But all they have is an outdated recorder or an old edition of India Today to take notes..

So then.. all were going the same way except tat it was the first time for me to dictate a lesson so that the guy opposite to me can take braille notes, Live.. For the past one year i had only explained english lessons.. but this was first to dictate notes.. That was the first time I was seeing a person taking braille notes.. They take a bunch of papers, pin it, turn the pages over and write in reverse like in arabic.. After a page is over, they remove the pin and those bunch of papers become a page for them.. he reverses the pages again and uses his fingers to feel them and read it to me.. A very industrious task.. Very much.. I wont take maximum 5min to write a page.. But here its 30min.. I already started twisting and turning.. Barely 3 pages had passed when the stipulated 2 hrs gets over.. I started wondering if this time would have been useful for him.. That was when i was taken aback..

the guy opposite to me said "Sorry sir... நீங்க கரெக்ட் ஸ்பீட்ல தான் போனீங்க.. இன்னிக்கு என்னமோ தெரியல நான் ரொம்ப ஸ்லோவா எழுதினேன்".. never had i been so out of words.. Took a moment to make talk and responded.. It was just like filling an empty auditorium before a guest arrives.. No use..

That was when i felt i should be doing more.. I, as a single person, cannot do anything.. But as a team, a difference can be made.. Where to go for a team? There come my batch mates..

I was not anticipating results or rather how my classmates & friends would treat that.. Not that they wont contribute for something noble.. Its bcos my friends have better opinion about me and my college days.. That's ok.. Nothing wrong in trying..

Everything starts with a name isnt it?.. Something like Operation flood, Operation Vijay, Yellow revolution etc.. They keep names for storms n tornadoes.. I felt it wont be wrong if i christen one for my fund raiser.. Thought will get an identity for it.. And then came AURA[L].. Aura for light and Aural for hearing.. Felt I cant get a better name to sell my proposition..

I sent a mail to all of them.. Quite a long one though.. When it comes to writing, i dont show restraint.. May be it could have been shorter.. But still, I sent that.. Then went for a mock test and checked my inbox.. Was glad to see a couple of mails.. So then the mission started..

The process of coordinating, transferring funds, checking for dollar rates, using paypal or western union or what not?? That was when i wished all my friends were in some posh locales overseas.. Even if they give $10 it is `500 here.. I wished that all exchange rates would soar like ever before.. But the Manmohan Singh govt did well to restrict dollar rates to `45.. My insane dreams had a roof..

Now then 5 months had got over and I was able to collect `56186 overall.. Should say its a sizeable amount.. 2 people can read peacefully for a year.. It was worth the wait.. Just thought for a moment.. If i had been the only one, I could have given maximum `3000.. But now its 18 times or 1700% more.. How can i not hide the glee from my face???

I have always wanted to live by the motto 'Live for the moments which you cant put into words'.. This moment was certainly one!! Thanks to all my people!! You were awesome!!

On a lighter note.. This charity run was one of my long time wishes as I had explained in this post of mine.. It has come true in 20 months.. That's a quick time i would say!!

Waiting patiently to do bigger, better works with bigger responsibilities..

When the world just moves on at its own speed.. All you need to do is take an initiative.. Rest will follow.. Then what are friends for??

Mo[c]ksha

2010-09-10T17:12:00.013+05:30

A scene from MATRIX:
Neo: Is Matrix real?
Morpehus: Real? If real is what you can feel, smell, taste and see, then 'real' is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain.
Neo: I thought it wasn't real.
Morpheus: Your mind makes it real.

Substitute any other word for the word 'Matrix' and u can learn a few universal truths.. U will begin to understand if there is an 'unreal' world..

Don't u feel sometimes that u had been thinking too deep on only one side and u r damn sure that what u feel will never be wrong.. and suddenly what happens? The opposite of what u thought prevailed.. Ur mind will never be able to accept tat.. But that's how it is.. U get an uncanny feel around u.. and ur mind refuses to forget it.. Let alone accept it.. Why is tat so? What went wrong?

Hmmm.. The reality is nothing went wrong.. It just happened.. What is unwarranted is u pondering over it.. Ur perception is not letting u move.. something was not really there.. u thought it was there.. and u got cheated by none other than urself..

Welcome to the planet called 'Maya' or 'Illusion' or 'Earth'..

Well many people think Maya or Illusion is something which doesn't exist.. or which is 'unreal'.. well if you thought that was the answer i wood suggest u wake up from your illusion..

So what is MAYA then?
MAYA is a state of mind.. It is not completely unreal. But it disappears with the onset of knowledge. So it is not real either. Because something real cant change.. Thus, it is different from both the real and the unreal.. MAYA does two things. It hides the real from you. Simultaneously it projects the universe or the unmanifest to you.

Well you may well get a thought why should I suddenly write about something totally abstract and blabber some nonsense..

All I can tell you have not experienced enough.. else u wood not dare contradict me.. It is all around u except that u might have been too busy that to pay attention to it.. Or I would say you had not spoken with yourself for quite sometime..

Write CAT and u will believe what the world is like.. Its been long since i saw CAT as only an exam.. It is a powerful teacher.. A teacher who will teach u lessons hard enough that even ur bones can feel the penetration.. I m not telling about ur maths or ur english prowess.. but what is that u r made of apart from the blood and bones that everyone has.. I came across a chinese proverb which says 'You r blind if u see only with ur eyes'.. you need a catalyst to prove that to you.. here CAT is that catalyst to me.. i was thinking on these lines after my string of bad scores.. Why is that my mind believes something which is not real, but doesn't believe what is real? Mocks are just a test.. my real test is only in november.. but am i not able to shred my thinking on my scores.. The answer 'MAYA'..

I can explain the syndrome with a story.

You are in a room with poor lighting.. u can see things albeit not in its entirety.. u see a snake near you.. Its long and winding.. u start sweating profusely and call for help.. before help comes, u become pale and ur thoughts make u half dead.. U begin to wonder 'will that snake bite me?' 'will i survive even if it bites me?' 'is this the only snake here or more hidden?' 'will it chase me if i run?' will i be able to escape'... hundreds of thoughts in a few microseconds.. and before things get any worse, help comes in the form of a light.. the light shows you that it wasn't a snake but a rope in the shape of a snake..

You find your friend MAYA here.. Concealed and unmanifest, but living for real.. The rope appears as a snake no doubt, but actually there is no snake there, ever. Even when it appeared to be there, it was not there. But you did really get scared on 'seeing' the snake and only when help came in the form of better lighting did you realize that what 'was there' all the time there was only a rope. but even after light comes and shows the rope in its entirety, u refuse to get convinced.. Your Maya has not disappeared.. Ur so convinced that its still a snake.. u stamp on it n ur doubt factor reduces.. but the incident stays real in ur mind forever..

So what do we learn here?
The snake appears on the rope, the rope does not undergo any change, but the snake is supported by the rope(meaning, without the rope there is no snake). But in reality the snake was never there and so it is also true to say that the snake is not in the rope.

To the question: Where is the snake?, the answer is: it is in the rope.
To the question: Is the snake there?, the answer is, there is no snake, the snake was never in the rope.

A beautiful line has been mentioned in the GITA regarding this :
'Everything that is perceptible is pervaded and permeated by Me, who is unmanifested. All the beings are established in Me but not I in them; they are not in Me either'

In short, Everything is in Me; and nothing is in Me.

This is the cosmic mystery of the existence of the Universe.
It is and is not - sad-asad-vilakshaNa, MAYA!!

So I have found what is my MAYA.. Have you found yours?

I guess, my whole post on Mo[c]ksha can be condensed in a few lines..
If you thought MATRIX was just a film, ur stuck in a very bad illusion.. If you say MATRIX is hinduism personified then u r in reality..

Jehangir Tata - Believing in perfection

2010-07-29T20:57:00.014+05:30

Jamsetji Tata, a great visionary, on his death bed took a vow from Dorab, his son, and Ratan, his first cousin..

"I have envisioned a dream for the great country of India.. The country is yet to have its best in technical expertise.. I want to fill that void.. India needs a world-class educational institution, a one-of-a-kind hotel, steel power and hydroelectric power.. Even if you are not able to spread the wings of the Tata family, please make sure that you bring my 4 dreams to life.. And whatever be the case, do not compromise on ethicality.. Keep knocking on the doors until it is opened.. You should show the world how a business can be done and should be done.. A good entrepreneur never gives up"..

'The Father of Indian Industry' passed away in 1903..

The 4 things which he said are the best in India now.. Namely the Indian institute of Science, Bangalore.. The Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai, Tata Steel and Tata Power, the largest in India..

If creating them is tough for the two cousins, then managing them profitably for years to come is an even bigger mountain.. A mountain to climb every possible day only to realize that there is no end for this mountain.. Such a mountain needs no ordinary man, no ordinary soul.. but a conqueror.. A conqueror who can pull people along with him to progress.. The world was awaiting his arrival..

A year passed.. And then came 29 July 1904..

The climate was at its eternal best in Paris, France.. Suzzane Tata, or Sooni(meaning "Gold") Tata as she is popularly known, was in the hospital for the birth of her first son.. A son who would spread his magic to unknown terrains, put India on the world map, set very high ethical standards, give new definitions for management, be a great philanthropist, and at last end as the conqueror of the world.. Suzzane appropriately named him "Jehangir", which means " Conqueror of the world".. He is fondly called JRD or Jeh.. Jeh was born to Ratanji Dadabhoy Tata, who was the cousin of Jamsetji..

JRD spent the initial stages of his life in Paris, Yokohama and Bombay using the sea route to link them.. He knew about the Tata legacy but never knew he would be taken into its wings at such an early age.. Just like an ordinary kid he was waiting to know his passion.. In Paris, the house next to his was Louis Blériot, an aviation pioneer.. Flights used to fly and land from the airstrip which was near to his house.. He had found his fire.. He was so engrossed with aviation that he wanted to start a new company on it!! He was ready to do everything for his passion and he became the first person to get the pilot's driving license in India.. He wanted to go deep into it when destiny knocked at his door.. He was taken into the Tata conglomerate as an unpaid apprentice in 1925 .. He learnt the nuances of trade and also concentrated on aviation..

With his repeated pleas with the Indian government not bearing fruit, he urged the Tatas to make their entry into aviation.. he was totally convinced that the future of the World was aviation and early entries would make it big on the long term.. After a lot of convincing with the Tata shareholders, his passion for flying was fulfilled with the formation of the Tata Aviation Service in 1932.. He started with delivering mails..

In 1938, at the age of 34, JRD was elected Chairman of Tata & Sons making him the head of the largest industrial group in India. Jeh dint have enough knowledge in every field that the Tatas were diversified.. So he wouldn’t interfere in the working affairs of the company and was the consensus man.. when asked he would say "the trained employees know what is good for the company.. I m here just to manage them.. Unless I know about a topic, I wont interfere in the daily affairs"..

He created new rules for his companies which were adopted in the whole of India as Labor acts.. Most important of all he was able to maintain his family tradition of 'Trust'.. As years passed by, Jeh crossed many milestones and I can assure you that this post is not enough for that.. So I will skip that part..

His crowning achievement was in Tata airlines, which was later converted to our national air carrier 'Air India'.. He was very peculiar in its running and used to pay maximum attention to even the smallest of things.. One interesting incident was when he was travelling to Geneva with his friend, Jeh was missing for a long time.. When he came after an hour, his friend asked what was the reason for his coming late.. Jeh told that the restroom dint have the proper amenities and the screen for the window was not matching the interiors.. He was such a perfectionist.. I m sure he would have blood coming out of his eyes n ears if he sees the current plight of Air India..

Many projects which that the Tatas had envisaged were rejected by Indian govt.. One prime example was the Mercedes Benz technology in the 1960's.. Jeh requested funding from the government for importing Benz technology to India.. But the people at that time rejected this saying that Tatas would become too powerful if that happened n even went to the extent of blaming the then Prime minister with prejudice.. Those short minded ministers only thought that as Tata's progress but not that of India's.. Tata's even went to the extent of giving a few cars to the ministers to use for a year and to tell them if they received any complaints... the complaints never came n so was the reply from the government.. So it was eventually dropped.. Plenty of stories like this..

Jeh famously used to tell that "if I had wanted to exploit the Indian laws the current state of Tata's would be 5 times bigger than now.. But I would not like that.. What is good for the country is good for the company"..

Another stellar example for Tatas was the construction of 'Jamshedpur', named after Jamsetji.. Once it was confirmed that Jamshedpur was going to be their destination for Steel, they planned every minute thing for it.. Right from sanitation to artificial lakes to sewage to planting trees to temples to labor safety to accommodation to company functioning.. The share holders accused Dorab and Ratan that they were not using the funds to build the company but spending it in a wasteful manner.. Their reply was "We are not building a company but a community".. Today 3/4 th of Jamshedpur is Tata's and it is India's first fully planned city..

Jeh was the finest of Chairmen that the Tata's ever had and certainly the best.. But he was always modest enough to pass that honor to Jamsetji whom he felt was the reason behind everything he did..

Jeh started with 14 enterprises under his leadership, and half a century later on July 26, 1988, when he left, Tata & Sons was a conglomerate of 95 enterprises.. Under Jeh's chairmanship, the number of companies in the Tata Group, grew from 14 to 95. Assets of Tata group grew from `62 crores to over `10,000 crores. Under his stewardship the Group had expanded to cover a range of power, engineering, hotels, consultancy services, information technology, consumer goods, consumer durables and industrial products. His trust also established Asia's first cancer hospital, Tata memorial.

He was conferred the Bharat Ratna in 1992 for his phenomenal contribution to the Indian peninsula and selfless humanitarian endeavors..

Jehangir passed away in Geneva, Switzerland on November 29, 1993 at the age of 89. On his death, the Indian Parliament was adjourned in his memory - an honor not usually given to persons who are not Members of Parliament.

The legacy stays on beyond the last blue mountain.. Happy Birthday hero!!

P.S My sincere thanks to R.M.Lala for writing a biography on Jeh and sharing his life.. Got many inputs for this post from his book.. I have not read many biographes but I would rate it as one of the best..

P.P.S I wanted to keep a long story short.. But I couldn’t.. I wanted to write more and more about one of my greatest inspirations but had to restrain myself from doing so owing to the time constraints.. May be will make up for it sometime later..

Inception - A movie like never before..

2010-07-19T20:12:00.004+05:30

The scenes roll back by two years.. To July 19, 2008..

It was nearly the end of a 150 min film at Satyam.. The climactic dialogues were gettin on me..

James Gordon Jr.: Why's he running, Dad?
Lt. James Gordon: Because we have to chase him.
James Gordon Jr.: He didn't do anything wrong.
Lt. James Gordon: Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.

I was open mouthed and was having a current passing thro me.. The titles come up and the title card: Directed by :Christopher Nolan pops up.. I was out of words.. And came a thought, could Nolan get better than this.. No way.. Dark Knight will be his best of the best films of all time and he is never gonna surpass it.. No film can beat this.. Best super hero films I have ever seen.. What mind games!! Spiderman sucks.. All these crazy thoughts were floodin my mind..

Now forwarding to the present.. To July 19, 2010..

I come out from the same theatre and get familiar thoughts such as the one I experienced 2 yrs back.. But this time with a wide open mouth.. I jus saw "Inception".. A movie like never before..

As the totem kept rollin and as the screen faded n the end credits were fillin the screen, I was standin and was appaludin.. I jus believe i stood up subconsciously but clapped consciously.. I never knew I can love a science fiction film.. They were never my cuppa tea.. But this film redefines everythin.. Even as I type this I dunno if it is happenon for real or I m jus hallucinating.. I hope it is for real.. I m stumped by Nolan as he has proved in his very next film that he is way beyond the Top 99% of the humans in this world in creative abilities..

A dream within a dream within a dream.. My God!!! I would say it is a bottomless abyss.. But Nolan has gone to the infinite boundaries to get a script of such gravity.. I dunno how it was possible to even conceive a story like this.. Even if u read the complete story scene by scene in wikipedia before going to the movie, u would fascinated by this film.. An artist's greatest victory is when he is able to transport the audience to exprience his world.. A world which never exists but can exist.. Nolan does that every single time.. but then after seein this film, i feel y cant it be real..

To change a basic character of u, u need to go deep down to change that.. The subconcious.. This should be done by the individual himself to redefine himself.. In simple terms, If u want a tree to grow big, what is the use of taking care of the leaves with utmost attention when the roots are still the same.. The leaves will return back to t original stage no matter what..

This concept has been explained the Nolan way and he has taken us to a new realm.. He has a different idea though.. He has a thief who can penetrate into the subconcious and can alter the basic notion of a self, Mind.. Once you alter your basic notions,everythin around u changes.. doesnt it.. No one can handle this theme except for Nolan.. He has given a new definition for film making.. No amount of eulogy wood suffice, pls watch the film n experience it.. It is a toooo perfect film ever made.. The cast n crew have done a fantabulous job to bring Nolan's work on screen.. Should say Di Caprio has a knack for choosin films.. Can never complain him..

I wont be suprised if his next film, Batman 3, surpasses Inception in 2 yrs time.. I would be happy to get stumped again.. I wish I can forward my life 2 yrs forward!!

Inception has got a rating of 3 of IMDB but i cant help but complain it is too low a ranking for a film of this caliber.. It should win the number one spot hands down..

Time to play 'Catch'

2010-06-18T02:27:00.003+05:30

My cell phone beeps and a message from my school mate flashes on the screen:

Life durin college:
We meet and then plan wat to do..
Life after college:
We plan and then meet..

The message succinctly explains my current scenario.. or rather our scenario..

I feel a big vacuum has been created.. Miss those days when canteen food was more than sufficient than a 750 bucks five-star hotel lunch, when tree shade was more than an AC, when 21G was a near equal to any other means of transport.. Now life moves on with lunch at food court @ Rs.50 a meal, 24*7 AC at office.. I even complain if the AC is switched off for 30min in the name of cost cutting.. I have my bike "La Poderosa (The Mighty One)" which can take me to any place I wish to go.. But then where is the life in it??

I mostly spend my time in solitude in office.. Tank god, I have CAT to keep me occupied.. else life would be monotonous and depressing.. My biggest companion being my Sony Ericsson phone which beeps at times to dust my memories.. I get a sudden realization that life can get better.. All it takes is only an initiative.. We are at a part of life when we need an occasion to get together.. To share our nothings.. And to get a sense of fellowship.. One day after travellin many a mile we get a sudden realization tat "Shouldnt I be in better touch with my pals?? I wont lose anythin if I get to know them.. Life can get only better"..

And I had one such 2 get-togethers.. It was kindlin to say the least.. One being a 3 person group at Ampa Mall to jus catch up n share our progress.. n another a 4 person group at ascendas.. the occasion was to celebrate my frnd's MBA admit.. Quite an occasion, i should say, after 3 long yrs.. Sunshine at last.. We dint do anythin much other than sit n talk, talk, talk n talk.. Jus makin fun of each other, discussin abt movies, our fascinations, figures etc.

I couldn help wonder "Hey Sada, when was t last time we had such a thing?? 1 yr?? 18months?? or more??".. The only thing i remember when i had a group chat, i was not workin in a company..

Its seriously interestin to compare photos taken in a span of time.. Jus then we realise "Oh, so much has gone is it??".. So how will it be if I consider all those from college?? Or from school???.

Time does move by very fast.. It is very difficult to meet guys workin in the same office or even the same floor.. Its difficult to beat time, but then we can atleast stay abreast in the race..

Purely Puzo..

2010-05-26T23:13:00.014+05:30

Silvio Alfonso was at the peak of his anger.. An anger which was inhuman for a 6 yr old.. But then, he has all rights to be at his peak.. As his family, The Alphonsos, have been mercilessly killed.. None from his family's blood have survived except him..The killers had made a grave mistake by letting him live.. They had not followed the golden rule of mafia - If you kill a father, kill his male child too.. Bcos, a child grows to be a man and man doesnt forget revenge.. Their bad luck was his good luck.. But for now, his anger has to wait as he must secure himself before he plans to avenge his family's brutal assault.. He could go to the 'polizia' but that is not how he had been brought up by his dad, Stephan Alfonso.. He has been a sicilian by birth, a sicilian by blood and brought up to live in Sicilian style.. And so his revenge would also be in Sicilian style.. He is bound by Omertà, the sicilian code of silence.. He cannot go to the polizia.. He is a man of honour.. only the weak go to the police.. he will avenge them with his own hands.. Even if that means it will take him 20 yrs to end their lives.. He can wait.. He will join the Cosa Nostra(Mafia family in USA).. Revenge is a dish that tastes best when served cold.. he can start a family to tell his name, then he can avenge his family's murderers..

Welcome to the world of MAFIA popularized by our very own "MARIO PUZO".. He had said "Great men are not born great, they grow great.." And he himself had been the paragon of it..

The definition of Cosa Nostra from their point of view:
These men aren't criminals. The police will murder to uphold the law. These men kill to uphold their own laws. They're only on opposite sides of the fence. Then again, the government and laws claim it is wrong. If you think about it, the government is composed of men and women just like you and me. Just because the government states what is right and wrong doesn't make it so. They don't necessarily own this land, but every individual living here owns this land. The government only exists to maintain the safety of people. In reality, no man has more power over another man.

Puzo is the writer who has made an eternal impression on me.. His words are poisoning to say the least.. It is powerful, thought provoking, profound and merciless.. he has written only 11 novels.. Yet he is rated as one of the best ever to have had a mightier sword in his hands.. Thanks to his masterpiece, The Godfather..

His words include:

The Dark Arena (1955)
The Fortunate Pilgrim (1965)
The Runaway Summer of Davie Shaw (1966)
Six Graves to Munich (1967)
The Godfather (1969)
Fools Die (1978)
The Sicilian (1984) sequel to The Godfather
The Fourth K (1991)
The Last Don (1996)
Omertà (2000) sequel to The Godfather
The Family (2002) (completed by Carla Gino)

Puzo tasted success after 1969, the year in which "The Godfather" was published.. So what was he doing before that.. He had already written two books that had received great reviews, yet had not amounted to much. As a government clerk with five kids, he was looking to write something that would appeal to the masses. With a number one bestseller for months on The New York Times Best Seller List, Mario Puzo had found his target audience. The book was later developed into the film "The Godfather" directed by Francis Ford Coppola. The movie received 11 Academy Award nominations, winning three, including an Oscar for Puzo for Best Adapted Screenplay.. Puzo, the writer, the screenplay writer was born.. Rest was history..

I have read 6/11 books.. I think i can forget a few of his other books like Fools die, the dark arena.. The reviews i have read abt them r poor to say the least.. All had only one response to it.. "Dint expect such a damp squid from a guy who gave Godfather".. I felt the same when i read "The Fortunate Pilgrim".. A story about the life a poor Italian immigrant during the great depression.. Was terribly disappointed with the plot and i even thought i can close the book half way.. But then i have never closed a book half way and i dint want to dishonour a guy who emphasized the word "honour".. and "The family", with full of incest, was certainly not my cuppa tea..

My last read was "The last Don".. and i would say it was a near equal to "The Godfather".. A complete thriller and i m waiting to read these 2 books again..

I was often fascinated by this term "Godfather" and as much about the importance given for the same.. My queries were settled in Puzo's usual succinct style - "The world is so hard a man must have two fathers to look after him, and that's why we have Godfathers."

When i read about Dons, Mafia, Caporegime, Buttons - I dont see them as people who have malicious ideas.. but people who have excellent proficiency to manage people around them.. how they command respect from people.. They are perfect managers u could ever come across.. though these stories are fictional they seem to be very real.. thats wat puzo does to u!!

Most of his books give some insights into human behavior and a lot about the pattern of thinking of humans.. A clear example is when they plan a murder of a pezzovanté(a kingpin) for a million dollars.. the deal is like half will be paid before the killing and the other half after.. It is always very difficult to get the second half.. the human mind starts to think the other way round.. Many clear examples like this..

Some of the most famous punch lines to savour:

I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.
Friendship is everything. Friendship is more than talent. It is more than the government. It is almost the equal of family.
Never get angry. Never make a threat. Reason with people.
Blood is thicker than water and holy water.
Human mind doesnt recognize gratitude.
A friend should always underestimate your virtues and an enemy overestimate your faults.
It's just business nothing personal.
The man with the briefcase can steal more money than the man with the gun.
Power isn't everything.. it's the only thing.
Love is not a reliable emotion.. It can bring u down anytime.. Women are more dangerous than shotguns.
You cannot say 'no' to the people you love, not often. That's the secret. And then when you do, it has to sound like a 'yes'. Or you have to make them say 'no.' You have to take time and trouble.
Many young men started down a false path to their true destiny. Time and fortune usually set them aright.
We are all honorable men here, we do not have to give each other assurances as if we were lawyers.
Even the strongest man needs friends.
Finance is a gun. Politics is knowing when to pull the trigger.
True love imperils a man, and empowers a woman.

P.S The proposal from Michael Corleone to Appollonia's dad is one of the best ever i have ever come across and I m sure that if I try the same in our country I m already dead..

P.P.S Some of my friends told me that you read about mafia and say that they are an excellent race but u dont follow their golden rule: Do not reveal urself.. I felt it was an apparent contradiction with me which i couldnt refuse because i basically like expressing myself.. Hmmm.. I, being a media frenzy guy, cannot refrain from doing things which make me what I am.. So I decided that a few exceptions need to be made and a few corrections to wat i decide to write about.. So that should set things even..

Should you or shouldn't you???

2010-03-31T12:41:00.006+05:30

Case 1:
The period was set around the 4th century BC.. Incense was in the air.. the battle for land was at its zenith.. 2 power houses were pitted against each other.. One has truth or dharma on its side.. The other has jealously or karma on its side.. Some prodigies are reluctantly on the side of karma because of the vows they took some 300yrs back.. The gods are eagerly waitin to see fate n destiny intertwine..

The battlefield was "Kurukshetra".. The power houses were pandavas n kauravas.. and at the epicenter was Arjuna, the king of archery.. the atmosphere was very tense while Arjuna was confused.. On his side, the Pandavas, were his brothers, his mother-Kunti, the great Lord Krishna.. They were the betrayed ones.. Cheated, battered n bruised.. And they badly wanted what rightly belonged to them.. Yet he couldn concentrate on the war.. For anyone it wood hav been an easy choice.. Jus slaughter the kauravas and win the land.. But was it so easy a proposition???

The Kauravas were without doubt the strongest n wisest.. they were simply invincible.. it was because of t fact that their team had people who were peers n who can choose their time of death.. The Gods had blessed them.. They are the ones who taught the princes everythin.. Now the princes are pitted against them.. and it was a matter of honour..

The prince, Arjuna, was perplexed.. he couldn't decide if he could go to war.. he was profusely affected by sentiments.. On the other side were his great grandpas, uncles, cousins, gurus etc.. if he had to win he had to slaughter everyone n thus bring his clan to a cruel end.. Was land more important or his 'kuru' clan?? will he be cursed if he won the war??? will the situation be solved if he voluntarily lost??? he was unable to take a clear decision.. Should he or shouldn't he be sentimental?? was his confusion justified??? does his poignancy have a solid reason???

Case 2:
There was once a reverent farmer with a big family to support.. He was happy with his life and he always preferred to stay home.. though his health was not at its best, he had good produce n was content with it.. For 2 seasons, the rains failed.. The lands become barren n almost uncultivable.. He then realised the mistake of his.. he was not provident.. his family was suffering n they were managing with excess produce which they had before.. So what does he do???

he sees an advertisement in the paper which says about a good opportunity in the city.. he is willin to go for t sake of family.. and tells his children to take of the farms with catch crops so that he can go to the city n earn.. things start well.. after a few weeks, the farmer falls sick n has constant health probs.. the elders in the family fear for their son's health n are also averse for city life which had so many turmoils.. they want the son to come back.. should the farmer come to his family n suffer as a whole without money or should he wait for the health to get better, convince the elders tat he was fine and earn money??? should he be objective or subjective?? should he or shouldn't he bring emotions into play???

It is when sentiments take an upper hand in situations man loses himself.. he is bogged down.. he is not able to think clearly.. the sense of attachment, which was so dear until then, becomes a rope which ties our hand and makes us numb.. U r unable to act.. Should u or shouldn't u do this?? do tat?? will this be good for t long term???

Congrats, u have become a slave.. Welcome to this world which doesnt bring u any development but always has an illusion tat it has one!!!..

I would like to tel you people(n also to myself) tat dont follow too many emotions.. hav an end line for it.. there is a limit for everythin.. even for love.. it's nothin wrong to have emotions at low levels but make sure tat u control it rather than the vice versa..

The effects are long term.. and u can be rest assured that no one is even goin to come n share ur burden..

so pls let the muddy water to settle.. the mud will settle at the bottom n the water will become clear.. then u can drink t clear water.. pls be patient till then.. have faith n determination.. the longer u wait n clearer the water, the better for ur health..

Elevation to Godhood..

2010-02-23T21:37:00.007+05:30

Once I read a good story about a thief.. A rich man boards a train along with a suitcase full of cash.. The thief occupies the seat opposite to him.. The thief senses the man opposite to him is very rich and makes plans to rob him.. The rich man then takes his suitcase to the restroom, comes back and goes again.. He does this a few times and this makes the thief convinced that the money was in the suitcase and that the man was changing places.. Once everyone was asleep he goes to all the places and searches for the money.. Once he couldn’t find the money in the restroom, he searches the rich guy's seat, his suitcase, nearby seats etc.. But alas, he could not find it.. The sun wakes up from its slumber and so does the rich man.. Confounded, the thief confides to the man that he is a thief, and that he had planned to rob him but couldn’t succeed.. He also asked the man to tell him where the money was. Not to rob him but to know the place where he had missed.. The rich man smiles, gets up, takes the money which was kept under the thief's pillow and goes out..

The moral: Look under your own basket before searchin outside..

I assume that many would be playing "The Thief" searching all around the world.. We always have the impression that things far from us are better what we have in our hand.. We don’t give importance to what is around us.. I was the victim of it too..

Only in the later stages of the first decade of the 21st century did I realize the importance of 2 people and their telling impact..

Greatness and glory.. Some people have this even before they are born.. Some strive hard to reach that.. Others may never reach even if they try..

The following 2 people have strived hard to reach that status and as the days whistle past, that crown glitters like never before.. Their impact on me cannot be expressed in words.. It's ineffable..

One the undisputed king and the other a very lovable queen.. But both are miles apart from each other and diverse characters..

One has created a huge difference to his community by his forthright attitude.. His presence has been a source of comfort to all.. Though initially his words may not be acceptable to a few, but on the long term he definitely is bang on target.. One day in the very near future, you will realize how true his words were.. Both good and bad..

The other person was a born rich but fate brought in its ugly hand and threw the boat out of shape.. It took her many years, almost her lifetime: to find the pieces back, to mend that boat and bring it back to sea.. The sailor is no long..

Persistence, patience, integrity, attitude, diligence, humility and affability is what unites them apart from them being in-laws.. One my Grandfather (Dad's dad ) and the other my Grandma (Mother's mother)..

My grandpa was born in a good family, with many brothers and sisters.. His initial life was a struggle with many mouths to feed.. He would have to work his skins out every possible day to survive.. Mending shoes, playing the kind brother, being a good son.. He had many roles to enact.. His only plan for the long term: Business.. He started leather business and made the right choices.. He was a chain smoker and a drunkard too.. But that was not for long.. He quit both and had special emphasis on his health.. After all, a role model must be a complete one..
Once during my eighth grade I was gettin ready for school and was busy puttin my shoes.. I usually polish my shoes after I wear it.. That day was no exception and I went inside to fetch the shoe polish.. My grandpa was sittin in the corridor and told me to come to him with the polish.. By that time I had already started shivering.. I have tremendous respect for my grandpa and that comes out many times as fear too.. He took the brush and started polishin my shoes.. I was bewildered!!! My grandpa polishin my shoe!! I couldnt even imagine.. I started to refuse but he wouldn’t budge.. He said "I was once a cobbler" and he then took a white cloth and rubbed the shoe.. That was the day I saw my old shoes shine like never before..

For some reason, that incident is still fresh in my mind..

Years went past.. Come 2006 and 2009.. I could easily say these years were stand out years from my life.. These years dint teach me what to do in my life but "what not to do".. These were the years I had the chance to interact with my grandpa in close quarters.. That seemed to the only benefit from the financial crisis which distressed my family.. During that time, I came to see him as a different person.. As an ideologist, as a human being, as revolutionist at times and most importantly character.. He always faced the devil in the eye.. Sometimes we feel that our imaginations may be more cruel than reality.. So it is better to face a bad thing right at its face rather than hide under a bushel.. He has mastered that lesson.. So he is ready to accept whatever comes as its effect.. That can be attributed to his forte he has created.. So when the ripples of the crisis came flooding back in Oct'09 I had found a Godfather..

He was the person who refused my MBA admit in 2008.. He just said "Do MBA after 2 yrs. Not now.. I will make u study and my blessings be with you".. I cannot forget those words.. At that time I saw this a blockade.. I felt my future wood be much better in an average B-school than at TCS.. Today, I thank all the gods that he stopped me.. Else I would have graduated from an ordinary B-school, just like a million others who graduate every year, without knowing the value of a real MBA grad..

I was staying at my grandpa's house for around 2 months.. The months before my 2009 MBA entrance.. I was preparing very seriously for my exams and had my mocks in-between.. It was a real hard time with persistent cries.. Once a person comes n cries, it is pretty difficult to concentrate on your work immediately.. I was badly affected by it.. Though I keep tellin myself to concentrate, a considerable time was lost.. I m thankful now that only a considerable time was lost instead of the complete 24 hrs a day.. My grandpa braved all the threats and brought us to safety even if that means to give a part of his hard and well earned money.. His only priority: Family and children come first.. He interacted with me what is good for a person and how he must never go back from his present position.. His status in society must be beyond reproach etc.. These lessons may be known to many people but when we experience a situation ourselves, we realize its profound lesson.. That was exactly the case with me.. Though we may read millions of books about character, wealth, social status etc it cannot match one real time experience.. If not for him, I m not sure if I would be having my dad alive today.. Now I realize that though he scolds a lot, they are not without content.. He has got good foresight.. Somethin which I lack..

Once we were back on the shore, safe and sound he was a completely new person to me.. After I read the novel, "The Godfather", my grandpa in essence became one to me.. I found many similarities to Vito Corleone and my grandpa.. The resemblance was striking.. I did understood that he was always around, it is just that I dint realize..

The other person, My Grandma, was very close to me right from my childhood.. Her affection for me is an open secret.. With me being the first grandson for both of them I do get a lot of lime light.. I was always given a carte blanche by her.. She always has thoughts about us.. I have never seen her get angry.. Her demeanor was completely personified.. To the world I m known as Sada and to them to "Karthi".. Sometimes I like my pen name much more than my real name..

It is said when the weather is calm, a storm is going to approach.. The storm dint leave them at peace for nearly 10 years.. This was another financial disaster.. My grandma and my uncle had to sell their house and stay in some anonymous location for a few months and then again in a relative's house for 2yrs before moving to a dilapidated house.. Their struggle for existence cannot be said in words.. Year on year went past before my uncle single handedly resolved all issues and began to rise the social ladder.. My Grandma was confined to the four walls of the house and dint show up except for extremely important events.. Even during all this time, she used to call us and enquire how we are.. They might have been without money, but definitely not without love, compassion, dignity and humility..

That sets them apart from most people who are stingy in both their money and love.. They are constantly alarmed that if they spend both they will not get them back.. How sad.. In reality it is actually the vice versa..

Every time I go to her house in native, I would be given a king's respect.. Her fish curry is one of the best I have ever tasted.. I m sure her dishes will be unparalleled with her love, which is the major ingredient of all the dishes..

I would go to her home every summer hols.. Even before we reach there she would always ask when was our next hols.. I was present there during the school days but once after college I couldn’t dedicate much time.. Once after work, I literally couldn’t.. But her enquiries dint.. She wood always call everyday and tell me to go slow in bike, take care of mother, be a good boy etc..
I remember a funny incident during one of my school hols.. It was a hot sunny afternoon.. She prepared lunch for us and kept it in the kitchen.. She went into the kitchen to get the food.. I went to the kitchen and told I will help.. She said "No karthi.. u go n sit.. I will bring.." I dint give in.. She said" Ok take it.. But make sure u don’t drop it mid way..".. By that time I went mid way and dropped it.. The whole curry, which she made, spilled on the floor and couldn’t be used.. I was shocked and thought I was going to get scoldings.. My mother already started scolding me but on the other hand my grandma burst out laughing.. We were all surprised to see her laugh.. She jus said "He is a small kid.. This is just curry.. We can make a new one.. No probs" and she continued laughing..

She became very ill during the last stages of her life.. Her nerve cells got damaged n she couldn’t speak and was bed ridden as most parts of her body stopped functioning.. She had wanted to tell many things before she passed away but alas all her words have been taken to the grave now..
She had been in my home for treatment the same day last year.. I feel very guilty that I had not been able to gift her even a simple sari.. She has given me lots of moments to cherish, I could have got her something from my earning.. She would have been happy.. But it is too late..

Our mind is the most corrupt of all.. If we plan to do somethin it must be done at that very moment.. Why postpone it when it can be done today.. Never procrastinate.. Mind forgets gratitude.. It all happens without our notice..

Both their lives have been big lessons for me.. Never give in for money: Doing it with a full heart is much important than everythin.. Never give up your dignity at any cost.. If u want something, do it urself.. You need support only when you feel you can’t manage alone.. Do everythin by urself so that u learn a valuable lesson.. Don’t waste the lesson by delegating the work to others..

Whatever u study, whatever degree you have beside your name your common sense is much more important than everything.. Anybody can study, but one cannot acquire common sense in a day.. etc.. The lessons I have learnt from them are etched in me forever..

Waiting for more lessons..

J.C.Owens speech

2010-01-09T19:37:00.005+05:30

The following excerpt is from a hour long speech from the American born James Cleveland Owens or "Jesse" Owens after winning 4 gold medals in the 1936 Berlin Olympics..

"To those of you who laughed at me, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have cried.
To those of you who just couldn't love me, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have known real love.
To those of you who hurt my feelings, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have felt them.
To those of you who left me lonely, thank you.
Without you I wouldn't have discovered myself.
But it is to those of you who thought I couldn't do it;
It is you I thank the most,
Because without you I wouldn't have tried."

Once i read he above lines, I immediately made up my mind that this will be the first post for the year 2010.. I could relate myself to each and every word in the above lines..

So just wanted to share it with you guys!!!

By the way, did you ever realize why J.C.Owens was fondly Jesse???

Here comes the reply from the hero himself, "On the first day of school, my first-grade teacher asked me my name and I said, ‘J. C. Owens’, and she said, ‘Oh, Jesse,’ and I’ve never considered changing it since."

A year in TCS!!!

2009-10-25T18:29:00.006+05:30

Well.. I should have written this post technically 26 days earlier.. My cat prep has been taking all my time and i barely find time for other works.. I want to reach out to the best colleges in India and make my future.. That has been biggest goal for a long time now..

Hmmm... So coming to TCS.. A company which i m very proud of.. Not jus bcos i m workin in it.. but bcos of the perseverance, creativity, passion and excellence that the Tatas have put in to be the biggest empire in India.. I have no doubt they will continue so.. i can say hands dwon that the best thing i did in TCS is to read some books abt the Tatas and their legacy.. and i m waiting to write a big post about them..

Its been said that off late TCS is the main profit maker for the Tatas and i can proudly say that i have made my minuscule contribution towards it.. Oh come on, you dont have to whine that i m workin in a support proj which barely needs any experience.. I agree with it in totality but a contribution is a contribution!!! how small or big it may be!!! he he..

Hmmm.. to be frank i dunno how an year went past.. I still feel i m yet to work in TCS.. But alas, so soon my ILP in Trivandrum got over.. My stint at Talking technologies got over.. My dog days behind the HR's for clerance has got over and the experiences with those guys which took me so close to losing my job.. !!! i will never forget the day when they made me sign a new agreement stating that "I m liable for termination if i do not clear the tests".. My god it gave me those chills down my spine.. and when i think abt it now, i couldn stop smiling at the fact that my tcs journey has been a very venturous one..

If not for Harish and Vamshi, i would say that my TCS journey was such a bore.. Thanks to their support and their being beside, it gave me the gusto to wake up the next day to office!!! Atleast my going to office has some purpose!!!

Hmmm... basically i m not the pro-IT guy who would do anythin for my job.. My dreams are else where and for me TCS has always been a make shift location until i do MBA in a good college.. As i was very clear in it, i dint pressure myself too much and was very happy with watever came my way.. I dint want those challenging jobs which would swallow my time nor did i shun the mediocre works which came my way.. i just did things which would make me survive.. I dont want to be a "new" face in the crowd who are suffering from the agony of not having a job.. I dint want to add a number to that crowd as i m already one in a crowd in TCS.. As of now i m 1 in 1,41,648 TCSers.. That is more than a decent crowd!!!

After being in bench for almost 6 months, i m now a part of TARGET project under support.. My work is basically is to clear the ticket Q which i do with ease.. Things are goin fine for now and i like being in this project for now.. Lets see where the ship takes me..

To be candid, bench period was much more fun with jam packed food courts, neatly maintained lush green lawns and good libraries!!!

(to be contd...)

Pentacle

2009-08-31T09:32:00.007+05:30

This is one topic which i hav been plannin to write for many months now.. Atlast i have made myself write it..

Pentagram..
The word pentagram comes from the Greek: "pente means 5 (as in Pentagon). "Gram" comes from the Greek verb graphein, "to write".

It refers to a five pointed star, or "any figure of five lines." It is most often used to refer to a symmetrical, five pointed star, with equal sides, drawn either with a single line or with two closely spaced parallel lines. Their overall shape is like the decoration on the top of many Christmas trees, and the stars on the American flag.

A Pentacle is generally surrounded by a circle.. Also called the circle of life..

Pentacles are of 2 types:

Upright pentagram
Inverted pentagram

Upright pentagram:

They are among the most widely used religious symbols.
They were used by ancient Pagans, ancient Israelites, Christians, magicians, Wiccans and others.
This symbol apparently originated as the symbol of a Goddess who was worshiped over an area which extends from present-day England to Egypt and beyond. Her name was Kore (a.k.a. Car, Cara, Carnac, Ceres, Core, Kar, Karnak, Kaur, Kauri, Ker, Kerma, Kher, Kore, Q're, etc.).

This was also interpreted to fit in the Vitruvian man, Leonardo Da Vinci’s masterpiece, perfectly..

From her alternative Roman name Ceres have evolved many English words: cardiac, carnal, cereal, core, corn, and kernel.

Usage:

The five points of the pentagram have been interpreted as representing the five wounds of Christ (2 wrist, 2 ankle and 1 side).
The Roman Emperor Constantine used the pentagram in his seal and amulet.
It has been referred to as the Star of Bethlehem
It was used to symbolize the star which allegedly led three Zoroastrian astrologers to the baby Jesus; it was called the Three Kings' star.
The English warrior Sir Gawain, a nephew of King Arthur, adopted the pentagram as his personal symbol and placed it on his shield. It appeared in gold on a red background. The five points symbolized "the five knightly virtues - generosity, courtesy, chastity, chivalry and piety."
Tarot cards originally had a suit of coins or discs. These were changed in the 19th century to pentacles when the Tarot became associated with the Kabbalah. They eventually became the suit of diamonds in modern playing cards.
It has been widely used by past Christians as a protective amulet.
During the burning times when the Christian church burned alive or hung hundreds of thousands of innocent people, the meaning of the pentagram changed. It began to symbolize a goat's head or the devil in the form of Baphomet. "The folk-symbol of security - for the first time in history - was equated with evil and was called the Witch's Foot."

Inverted Pentagram:
Some religious and spiritual groups have used the inverted pentacle. During the 20th century, Satanists inverted the upright pentacle and adopted it as their own symbol. However, the symbol is most commonly shown with the head of a goat within the pentagram as shown below.

Sigl of Baphomet:
The inverted pentacle with a goat's head is called the Sigl of Baphomet. It has also been called the Black Goat, Devil's Goat, Goat Head, Goat of Mendes, and Judas Goat.

The five vertices were also used to represent the five classical elements:

Water
Earth
Fire
Idea or "a divine thing"
Air

It is also said to represent the 5 vowels of the English language.. It was supposed to have been the main symbol for the Olympic games but was changed at the very last moment to give way for the “Five rings”..

Yesteryear memoirs- Part 2

2009-07-21T01:19:00.002+05:30

It all looks like it just happened yest.. But alas, an year has went past.. I cant give a unit for this speed like km/hr or m/sec or knots.. This is something way beyond!!! Something which plays in the mind and it now beckons me that I m an year old after completing my under graduate life..

From now on We are at a stage where we are no longer with the fresher tag.. We are branded old animals for interviews.. The year 2008 which went past was not an year to remember for the global markets.. It saw many companies crumble like a pack of cards.. I m not goin to discuss about the global scenario but my own..

I would like to trace my steps a little back to the year 2007.. Precisely June 2007.. That was when we were banging our heads to get some placement in some company.. Our most important priority being that we dont want to be stranded after college gets over.. A good salary in some decent company was the need for the day.. There was a frantic search for yesteryear papers, having group studies etc etc.. The companies came floodin in and the first was mine.. TCS.. We were prayin all gods to open atleast their corner eye so that we could get a job..

When I think abt that now I m simply amazed looking at my current priorities.. The job which I very badly needed jus an year back is not even in my scheme of things and I feel I m jus hanging on to it bcos I have nothing else to hold on to!!!! How ironic!!! Our priorities get changed in an year let alone hrs..

The placement exams went ok but my interview was horrible to say the least.. The heavy rain that day only added to my misery.. After that poor interview I made all efforts to collect papers for the next exam.. I was dead sure that TCS will flunk.. But it came as a huge shock to see my name in the selected list.. I went gaga over it and was happy that I was going to earn.. My parents n relatives were extremely happy that I was in the Tata family.. I was totally unaware of the impact the Tatas made.. And so I was virtually blank abt everythin.. I knew nothing abt their legacy, nothing abt their philanthropic side and nothing abt coding too.. The journey to trivandrum had been an eye opener for me for many unknown reasons.. Primarily being that I began to enjoy my solitude.. And a month there was enough for me to learn the nightmares in IT sector.. When I came home I was in half ..

Then came second phase and it was an even bigger nightmare.. That was the time I came to the conclusion that Trivandrum was heaven.. It is said that we realize the value of a thing only when its not there with you.. How true!! I dont miss the buildings or the faculty there but I do definitely miss the aloo parathas for 10 bucks and a super heavy meal with a juice to finish for just 35 bucks.. Oh my god.. It was definitely the place for me to savor the food!!!

Now then TCS was a only a part in the last year and there is more to the story.. Many new friends to cherish, many hearts joined, a few got split, many were tryin their shot again at masters etc etc.. In short it was nothing of entertainment!!!

I must admit the fact that I have been under a lot of "the self-realization" scanner for the year.. Some things must be said to you to change you, some things must be seen to change, some things must be done to change and, not but not the least, some things must be felt to change.. I came to understand the real essence only now.. And I m very thankful for it.. So I don't pressurize myself by forcing others to do which they don't want to do.. I no longer want my stuff my ideas unto others and put make up for them..

I have gotten in the mood to do service to people.. There are many in need.. I would like to do somethin was others.. I would like to make as many people happy as possible.. I would definitely strive for it.. I don't mean off here that I do.. its jus that I would like u too to join hands and make big things..

These are the few things I learnt:
• Do wat u like to do.. If u feel like u will get happiness only by jumping off from a cliff.. please do that.. Bcos even if u get hurt u will learn to live with it with happiness and the consciousness that it was self inflicted will be etched in ur memory.. On the other hand, even if others mistakenly scratch u, u will feel like he has committed a sin.. So its best to do wat u like to do..
• Watch a lot of movies and improve creativity.. Be imaginative..
• Read hell a lot of books and get acquainted with the evergreen realm..
• Be helpful anytime..
• There is nothing u r goin to take to ur grave.. So give to others and be happy with ur share.. The happiness got cannot be explained.. It can only be felt..
• Eat ur fav dishes and try new ones.. They definitely stimulate u..
• Keep bird watching.. No matter what the opp thinks of u.. it's a secret pleasure..
• Work hard, party hard, show ur face to the lord, visit places, gift someone, talk non stop over the phone(hope u pay t bill for it)

The above things may be done by u even now and may ask wats new in it?? You, the person in You is waiting to rejoice.

How dreams die without our notice???

2009-06-15T07:50:00.006+05:30

It can be easily said that a man is alive on earth only bcos of his dreams.. Only to live his dream.. It is the pleasure of searching and the pleasure of adventure that fuels us..

The blood and veins in our body may only provide physical stability… But its only our soul and dreams that make us walk the red carpet..

When we were young our dreams explode inside us with supreme force.. We start to enjoy the journey, which was once torturous, and wait with anxious eyes to the result.. We will be courageous at that time but we haven’t yet learned how to fight. With great effort , we learn how to fight, but by then we no longer have the courage to go into combat.. So we turn against ourselves and do battle within.. We become our won worst enemy.. We say that our dreams were childish, or too difficult to realize, or the result of our not having known enough about life.. We kill our dreams because we are afraid to fight the good fight..

We never realize that dreams come to us only bcos our heart realizes that it has got the potential to fulfill it.. It is only the perception that demolishes us.. Our own hazy attitude and the lack of courage only hasten the demolition..

Good fight is not the one which was fought in battles centuries ago.. It’s the fight that we put up for our dreams.. At the start, the road is rough and we begin to doubt if the road taken by us is right.. Once the turbulence is no long, both our soul and mind begin to accept the dreams whole heartedly.. That’s when our life becomes like a kite happily flying in the sea breeze.. W begin to like ourselves and also those around us.. We live a honeymoon life.. The wind feels like a lullaby and we begin to experience heaven in front of our eyes..

Life will be going like a highway like an unaltered stretch.. Then without our knowledge comes a sudden screeching halt.. Before we come to terms on what happened, we see our dreams shattered and our desires frustrated.. We feel lost and we think tat it is the end of the road.. It is not the end but only a bend.. We must understand that life doesn’t take the aerial route always.. We must dust ourselves and continue our dreams.. Only when we cease to dream our soul dies!!

How does a dream die??? Well, there are 3 symptoms..

Lack of time
Our certainities
Peace

The first of all is “Lack of time”.. We begin to say this and lose track of what we actually wanted.. The busiest ppl in this people have time enough to do everything.. It is only those who do nothin r always tired and pay no attention to the little amount of work they are required to do.. They complain constantly that the day is short.. The truth is they are afraid to fight the good fight..

The second symptom lies in "Our Certainities".. We don’t want to see life as a grand adventure and we begin to think of ourselves as wise and fair and correct in asking so little of life.. We confine ourselves to the negative side of things.. We begin to say “The glass is half empty” and not “The glass is half full”.. We see only the great defeats and not the great victories.. We don’t see the pleasure of enjoying the fight but only look for reasons to escape it..

And the final symptom of the passing of our dreams is "Peace".. Life becomes a sunday afternoon and we ask for nothing grand.. We cease to demand anything more than we are wiling to give.. In that state, we think of ourselves as being mature; We put aside our fantasies of our youth, and we seek personal and professional achievement. We are surprised when ppl our age say that they still want this or that out of life.. But really, deep in our hearts, we know that what has happened is that we have renounced the battle for our dreams.. When we renounce our dreams and find peace, we go thro a short period of tranquility.. but the dead dreams begin to rot within us and to infect our entire being.. We become cruel to those around us, and then we begin to direct this cruelty against ourselves.. that’s when illness and psychoses arises.. What we sought to avoid in combat- disappointment and defeat- come upon us bcos of our cowardice.. and one fine day, the dead, spoiled dreams make it difficult to breathe, and we actually seek death.. It is death that frees us from our certainities, from our work, and from that terrible peace of our Sunday afternoons..

Keep your dreams alive at all times and at all costs.. You know there is something called attitude and passion. There are times when there is nothing good in life, but that phase is very temporary. Life will always bring you down on your knees and will hit you hard to an extent that you will start hating it. The only things that let you survive are your dreams and passion. And if you don't survive and you give up, you'll be one of the many mediocres living in the world without any purpose. Happiness, sadness, boredom, smiles, tears are all temporary things but if you keep the fire of passion burning inside you, you will always get what you want.

A nice poem

2009-06-03T08:17:00.001+05:30

There will be times when you would despair

There would be times when you feel defeated

There will be times when you feel rejected

Hold your thoughts and ponder

Wait a while and remember

Don't judge yourself from a day's experience

For what you are today, was not made in a day

A failure is a way, I believe

To see yourself in a different light

In a different perspective, through your own inner eyes

You rejoice in success

You analyze in failure

For failure is a queer teacher, it will teach you things the hard way

It won't facilitate, it won't accentuate,

It will hit you hard in your face

But if you get bogged down, give up or simply stop

Do it at your own risk, kill yourself, albeit in parts

They can take away an opportunity, they can take away a chance

They may take away the world from you, and make you penniless

And you are down and out unless

You see with your inner eyes

The potential, the passion, the talent, the energy, the enthusiasm

The spirit, the will and most importantly the faith.

You will see yourself

In a totally different light

For these are the things

No one can take away, no one can change

No one can tamper, no one can suppress

Because this is all what you are about.

My creations

2009-05-12T09:17:00.005+05:30

The mystery continues..

2009-05-03T05:24:00.002+05:30

It was a very hot may afternoon in my native and almost all my family members were in temple for a function.. Lunch jus got over and people were moving here and there.. The crowd was huge and with the place being small, it got suffocated.. I was waiting to go home.. I was tired because of the midnight journey and I was sitting with my back to the pillar.. Not many were sittin around me.. My sister sat straight opposite to me and some old people around.. I think I jus closed my eyes for 2min and when I opened everythin around me seemed to hav changed.. I mean I was not in some wonderland, but a good lookin gal in yellow chudidhar seemed to capture all the attention.. I jus kept watchin her solemn eyes which were full of myriad emotions, her fairness which would make actress Nadhiya cringe, her homeliness which would surely topple Sneha.. Only after a few min did I realize that nothing much had changed except for her.. It was only my perception that had changed.. She was sittin beside a young kid feeding him.. She was so beautiful.. She looked like she must be doing her under graduation.. But her age was defying it.. She had a loneliness in her which I liked the most.. To be terse and realistic, she was poetic.. I dunno if she even glanced at me.. But I must have made more than a few deliberate ones..

I wondered if she looked good to my eyes alone or to others eyes too.. Whom to ask, Whom to ask, Whom to ask.. Hmmm.. I just realized my sister would suit the bill.. “Hey sis, does the gal beside you look good??” And surprise surprise she said “Yes, of course..” Wow.. Yuppee… I was jumpin in the air.. Thank god I was not hallucinating!!!!

I was lookin at her for a few min when my dad called us to pack for home.. Jus a few min back I was longing to get back home but now I was totally reluctant.. I couldn’t buy time since everyone got on to the car.. With a disappointment got in the car and was wonderin what a gal she was, she suited my height, my age, my taste, my family (since she too being a chettiar), and what more she suited all my perfect description of a gal.. How come I got everythin right, somewhere something must be wrong.. I thought I was missin something.. Its very rare to find wat we like very soon.. If it comes to us soon we better check the track we are on bcos we may miss some link.. Nothin comes for free in this world.. It must have some catch..

Our car came to a screeching halt jus outside the gates of the temple to worship another god there.. And almost that same moment my heart beat also came to a sandy stop.. Wat hav I been doin so long!!! Holy god!!!

The biggest problem in chettiar family is the tradition that is being followed.. All chettiars are split into 9 temples.. When u meet someone from the same temple, he/she becomes ur own brother/sister.. The gal whom you goin to marry must necessarily be from any of the other 8 temples..

With she coming to the temple today I had a very bad feelin in my stomach.. So now where to clear this naggin doubt.. Whom to ask, Whom to ask, Whom to ask.. Hmmm.. My mother was walkin in front of me and a few uncles of mine up front.. I jus casually asked “Are the people here from the same temple or different temple??”.. My mother added to my dismay by sayin “Yes”.. I felt I had a thorn in my throat.. I dunno how I was feelin.. I was dejected, disappointed, exasperated!!!!

Jus then a person nearby who was a close relation of mine said that I must be appreciated for askin.. She said so bcos the tradition was dyin and that she felt that I had taken the extra care to know.. She appreciated me for it.. Only my sister and I know why I took that extra care!!!!!

She came like the wind and went like the wind…

I was messagin my frnd abt my sorry state of affairs and was venting my emotions on why am I not lucky enough??? I hav been seein a sister for so long..!!!

That night I had a train to catch and in the evenin nothing hpnd much except for my continual disappointment.. Though for the fact that I dint speak a letter to her and I dint no who the heck she was, I was unusually subdued.. I mean like I hav seen many good lookin girls but no one came as close as her to match all of it.. So near yet so far..

Once we boarded the train, I asked my mother again why was there so much of rush today in temple than ever before.. She said that two groups of people had come today..

What 2??? 2??? There should be only 1!!!! Hmmm.. I could see some light in my corner..

Seems like the other group of people were from a different back ground n that they may be from different temples too.. Only those who came from my native belonged to the same temple.. I was happy that it was not the end of the road, but only a bend in the road..

I may hav missed her today, but next time if I get a chance to meet her, I would go straight up to her confident and bold and ask “Excuse which temple do you belong to????”

If she says any temple other than mine… Oh my god.. I m already in disneyland!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A posthumous book release..

2009-04-16T08:29:00.005+05:30

Sometimes its very unfortunate that people die at a very young age, barely at a time when they are about to step out and see the real world.. We dont have words to console ourselves.. We can only blame on fate for playin such a sadistic role..

A common sayin is.. Life must be filled with perfect moments so as to enjoy life.. But the real fact is that those perfect moments come only because the perfect person is behind it.. Once they pass away, we are left only with memories to cherish and not the person behind it.. A void is created a forever..

I came across one such moment recently.. I generally dont turn up much at obsequies.. When we see their faces at deathbed all the good memories we have abt them seem to vanish into thin air.. It takes a lot of time to come out of it..

One of my friend, Vinoth, died of cancer a few months back.. I have seen him only a couple of times.. But now i feel i m eternally connected to him after his unfortunate death.. A man's last wish is somethin that is considered to be sacred.. Its one of our last frantic efforts to make their presence felt in this world..

Vinoth's long time wish was to publish a tamil poem book, which he had christened it "அமுக்குணி" (Amukuni) .. He has been writin for it ever since school got over.. His savings were carefully maintained by him for the big day.. Havin placed in infy, he graduated out of college and was waitin for the day for his job to start.. But God had other plans for him and his life came to an abrupt end.. His parents were left stranded..

His parents and friends worked to bring the book to life.. His pennings were compiled and suitable drawings were drawn and the compilation was ready.. I designed the wrappers for the book and its first of a kind for me.. All time when i was designin i was hoping that if Vinoth had been alive he wood be satisfied with wat i m doing.. U need to be extremely careful when you are playin a part in someone's dream, isnt it??..

After many hiccups the book got released on Sunday, 12 April 2009.. It was a lacrimonious event with a somber feelin all thro.. Though the guests tried to bring the mood shift it never happened.. But it was a day to be cherished and celebrated.. People who were with Vinoth must be proud about him.. His writings were too good and we wood certainly miss a good poet..

One of his favorite wishes has come to life.. What abt the unknown wishes which had never surfaced???..