A question of what, when & how?

I was watching the 2010 version of 'The Karate Kid' on TV. And I hear Jackie Chan say 'Being still and doing nothing are two different things'. Well. That did make me think. What was the difference between the two, even if any.

Why not search for an answer with my own life?
But all I got was a blind alley until I started looking deeper.

Retrace a few anxious weeks before my results were out. I had a great determination to do many things in life other than studies and exam.

For a change,

• I wanted to drive slow in chennai at morn 4. Just to have a better feel of the atmosphere. Chennai is cool to drive at nite sans the traffic.
  
• I wanted to design cards and give to many of my friends for whom I have not given even one.
• I wanted to pursue a project in design which would require me to learn more software and integrate them to get a dream one.
• I wanted to allocate 1 hr or 50 pgs per day to read books. By this way, I can spend minimum of 365 hrs or 18250 pgs per year on books. I would gladly say that's a handsome number.
• I wanted to watch hella lot of films which would envy even the craziest of maniacs.
• I wanted to write many blogs on myriad topics.
• I wanted to learn some tricks in MS excel which would come in handy from here on.
• I wanted to spend atleast 15 min in meditation everyday.
• I wanted to finish all 94 episodes of Mahabharat.
• I wanted to read a few basics before I go back to school. I m feeling rusty.
• Last but not the least, I wanted to explore more about the great country of India and her diversities.

All these activities cannot be done 365*24*7. But I can very well choose a combination of things, keeping a few things constant. But all I can say is I have not moved an ounce. Its not that I don't want to.

May be self satisfaction and a sense of achievement has engulfed my mind. I m not moving. In Jackie's terms, I was not being still. I was all over the place albeit doing nothing.

I got this answer atleast!! A breather.

I read a good line somewhere.. Out of activity comes inactivity. Out of inactivity comes activity. That did make me contemplate.

I had been totally occupied for 3 yrs sans a break. And all round I had been thinkin the same but with different mindsets and terminologies. I went to sleep with an alarm in my mind. An alarm which would wake me up automatically 9 times out of 10. I was self-motivated. Self-inspired. [I never knew the meaning of these words till then] Everythin came from within. No external force was required.

But then once my admission was confirmed and once I was sure I would be taking up a college this year, I was happy. I was content. I understood efforts wont go for waste. Well, I dint dance in the streets, dint get wet in the rain, dint go behind a gal, dint proclaim to the world I have climbed my own little mountain. But a different and deeper outcome was effected. A wide gap was created. A gap which I had filled with studies/books/exams/tensions/sleepless nights/urge had been cleared off. Now the gap requires a new filling. A gap which I knew would come but for which I thought I had a solution.

Once my dentist said 'Sada, brush twice a day. You don't have to visit me again in your life'. When brushing itself seems a far cry, no wonder I did nothin yet with my tasks.

I guess I m like a kid eagerly waiting at the doors to hold his next new toy in his fingers.